Quifosenkis
by ckret2
Summary: A story about a deadly disease. 'Nuff said. If you haven't been reading this, don't start now. I'm not finishing this, but keeping it posted for posterity.
1. Flashback

Yello. It is I, ckret2! Got a fic. It was originally a different fic called The Truth, buuuut, I deleted it. It was stupid. *spazzes* IT WAS JES TOO DANG STUPID!!!  
  
Just so you know, Mur isn't a Mary Sue. Neither Dib nor Zim shall get a crush on her. Or anything else as completely vomatrocious. ^-^ I like that word. So, anyway, no Mary Sues.  
  
And it may look like I haven't done my research, 'cause it says later in the fic that Zim didn't kill Spork or Miyuki, but I did do my research. (I do more research for Invader Zim than I do for school!) All will be explained in good time. Yeeeess, good, sweet, precious time . . .  
  
The first chapter is a flashback.  
  
Disclaimer: No own Zim, no own Dib, no own Gaz, no own . . . all the others, DO own Mur, and Kayna, and Kayna Jr., and all the made up one-time appearance chars. Good? Good. Okay. Zim, Dib, Gaz (who is barely in this fic) and all the others, and the ORIGINAL IZ plotline, are all property of Jhonen Vazquez.  
  
And, now . . . the fic!  
  
Well, almost. Just so you know, this fic starts with a flashback of about 100 Irken years ago. Loooong before the whole Devastus thing. This was back when Zim was about 200 years old, (O.o that's old!) and so he'd be about a teenager in Earthen terms. The Tallest aren't Tallest yet, and they're about 700 (:-@ Yikes!). So, they're a few hundred years older than Zim. In Irken terms, they're still pretty young, though! Don't you dare ask me how old Tak is, I have NO clue and she isn't even in this fic! Or any of the other current Invaders, like Skoodge, but I assume he's about the same age as Zim.  
  
Zim'll be kinda OOC for this chapter and half of the next. Bare with me here, it'll all be explained.  
  
And, as my FINAL note, this'll make a lot more sense if you've read the script to The Trial, which is an unaired episode. You can find the script here: www.thescarymonkeyshow.com  
  
So, NOW the fic, and the flashback to start the fic!  
  
~*~  
  
The Truth  
  
Chapter 1: Flashback  
  
Zim walked by a newspaper stand and saw, splashed across the headline of every paper, "Tallest Spork Was Sporked To Death!" He snorted. "Tallest Spork's been what?" He bought a copy, assuming that the paper was some sort of tabloid. As it turned out, it wasn't. Zim recognized the logo of The Daily Reporter, a well-respected paper. Zim began reading with renewed interest.  
  
Yesterday around 9pm, a group of assassins attacked Tallest Spork with giant rubber sporks and beat him over the head until he died. There is no current information on Spork's killers, but there were some witnesses.  
  
"The group was very very short," says Necca, 5'7", while Akkika, 3'3" says, "The group was tall. The assassins probably thought that their gang leader would become the new Tallest."  
  
It has been established that there were seven in the group of assassins, and that at least one was a girl. Two had purple eyes, and one had green eyes. If anyone finds a group hanging out together with at least one girl, two Irkens with purple eyes, and one with green, please call massivepolice @massive.net.  
  
All Irkens over seven feet tall should go to the Massive to be measured for the new Tallest. The new Tallest shall be announced tonight in a special edition of the Daily Reporter.  
  
In other news . . .  
  
Zim folded his paper and stuck it in his Nanopak. He didn't need to learn about the "other news." He was surprised the article on Spork's death wasn't any more than four paragraphs! Couldn't the reporter have gotten a few more witnesses? Or given the time of Tallest Spork's funeral ceremony?  
  
"Lazy writer," Zim muttered.  
  
"You say somethin'?" a voice behind Zim asked. He turned around.  
  
"Oh, hi Necca. You were a witness to Spork's death, weren't you?" Zim asked.  
  
"Yup," Necca said. "I don't know WHAT that Akkika was thinking, I swear, those Irkens were shorter than YOU are, Zim!" And at his glare, she quickly added, "No offense. Actually, that was kinda a compliment, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Zim said, shrugging. "It's really sad about Spork. Musta been pretty hard to see him die. So, are you still going to the bItter hOpe concert tonight?"  
  
"Yeah!" Necca said. "You'll be there, right?"  
  
"Just got my ticket in the mail," Zim said. "Too bad Spork had to die before he could go to the concert with us."  
  
Necca nodded. "Yeah. Hey, how do you get so many high-power friends like that? I mean, they're so much TALLER than you! Uh, no offense. But, you were friends with Tallest Miyuki until Quifosenkis got her, and then you were friends with Tallest Spork. It's just creepy. How do you do it?"  
  
Zim shrugged. "I dunno. I'm just a little Invader. And I'm not exactly the best Invader, either. Guess I'm just lucky."  
  
Necca half-grinned. "Guess so. Well, see you at Conventia for the concert?"  
  
"Right," Zim said. "10pm?"  
  
"Yup! See you then!"  
  
Necca walked away, and Zim kept going down the busy street. He wasn't really going anywhere. Just walking around.  
  
From the top of a building, seven Irkens were watching Zim. One was female, two had purple eyes, and one had green. They were all very tall.  
  
"The little brat," muttered one of the purple-eyed Irkens. "Who does he think he is, talking to all these really tall Irkens?"  
  
"Man, he's annoying," the girl said. "When one of us becomes Tallest, we'll have to do something about his uppity attitude. What do you think, Sresu?"  
  
The whole group turned to look at their leader, who had red eyes. "I think we should just take care of him now," Sresu said mildly. "Why wait until we're crowned? We'll get him in an alley the same way we did that Akkika kid this morning."  
  
The group chuckled, until the green-eyed one yelled, "Holy Pla! Lookit him! He's talking to three Irkens as tall as US!"  
  
All eyes looked down at Zim.  
  
Zim had stopped to talk to three Irkens he thought looked pretty tall. One had purple eyes and one had red, and they looked like twins. The third was a female, who was following the red-eyed Irken.  
  
"Hey, did you here about Spork?" Zim said.  
  
The "twins" looked down at Zim, obviously wondering what such a short thing was doing talking to them. "Yeah. Pretty sad," the red-eyed one said hesitantly.  
  
Zim nodded. "Yeah. You know, you guys look pretty tall. You might be the new Tallest!"  
  
They looked at each other, and the purple-eyed one said proudly, "Hey, we could be! Oh, I'm Purple. This is Red and Kayna."  
  
Zim smiled. "Nice to meet you. I'm Zim."  
  
"So, you really think we have a chance?" Kayna, the female, asked.  
  
"I sure do!" Zim said. "The only two people I've seen in my life that looked to be taller than you are Miyuki and Spork, and they were Tallest, so of course they were taller than you. But not by much!"  
  
Red said, "Yeah, well, to someone your height, everyone must look tall."  
  
Zim shrugged. "To someone your height, everyone must look short. But you can still tell which Irkens are shorter than others, right?"  
  
The threesome looked at each other. "Maybe we should go to the measuring on the Massive," Purple said. "Y'know, since the bItter hOpe concert was cancelled."  
  
Zim's eyes bugged out. "It's been WHAT??"  
  
"It's been cancelled for the funeral ceremony for Spork," Kayna said. "You didn't hear?"  
  
"No," Zim said. "Well, that's annoying. Hey, do we have to use our bItter hOpe tickets to go to the ceremony?" he joked. Red snorted.  
  
"Well, see you. Wish us luck!" Kayna said, and they left.  
  
"Sickening," Sresu said. "It's just sickening how he prances around like that, thinking he can mix with the tall guys. Well, well show him, won't we?" The gang members grinned.  
  
~*~  
  
Short chappy. Ah well, this is more like a prologue that a chapter. And, Zim is OOC on purpose, I repeat, ON PURPOSE!! There will be quite a bit of OOCness on Zim's part throughout this fic, but when possible, I will keep him in character. Okay? Good. And it will all be explained so that the OOCness will be understood. Like in "Monsters Within" Gaz is OOC but SilentKnight has explained all that so that it makes perfect sense. Like the way she explained why Zim hates the Tallest now. If you have NO clue as to what I'm talking about, go read "Monsters Within". It's good. Really, really, REALLY good. So go read! The pigs command yooooooooou . . .  
  
~ckret2, remember never to capitalize the C unless my name's at the start of a sentence. 


	2. The Six Month Nightmare

Okay! Chapter 2! Thank you to all the people who reviewed the last chapter. And, that would be . . . FOUR PEOPLE!!! Yeah, eight of the reviews up there were reviews for my fic before I changed it. It had originally been this weirdish fic called The Truth. I think it's better now.  
  
And I know SOMEONE read this, because someone mentioned it in a review to another story! I forgot which story . . . Oh well! PLEASE review!  
  
And, in other news . . . If you know me, leave a review and tell me you go to my school, or something. My nickname is Secret! Yes, it is Secret! If you know any girl at all who calls herself Secret, then you might know me!!! And I also wear a skeleton key necklace! YOU KNOW ME, DONTCHA! So... um... yeah. And, Casey Savage, I KNOW YOU'RE HERE! I will find you! You can hide, but you can't . . . hide!  
  
This chapter starts with Zim flying to Earth in The Nightmare Begins.  
  
And, just in case there is anyone wondering, the character Mur IS a female and she IS close to Zim, but THIS WILL NOT be a fanchar/Zim thing. And Mur is not a Mary Sue, meaning she doesn't make Zim act OOC. Actually, she's kinda an anti-Mary Sue, meaning she keeps him in character. There will be no romance at all in this fic, other than the necessary bit in the next chapter. THAT WILL BE AAAAAAAAAAAALL!!  
  
And I got digital cable! *dances* Now I can watch Zim on the Nicktoons channel! Wh00t!  
  
Okay, onto the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zim. No, I don't. I do own this plot, Mur (to be introduced in this chapter), and Quifosenkis (to be introduced NEXT chapter. Actually, it's not a character. It's a diseeeeaaaase . . .). Oh, AND I own Kayna! But she's gonna die, so never mind!  
  
Oh, ONE more thing! For those of you who said Zim knew Red and Purple before Spork died, I know. But, we didn't actually see that. We saw Zim's memory of knowing them in The Trial. Except, he didn't really know them. He just THOUGHT he remembered knowing them. And it is necessary for Red and Purple to be older than Zim. If there's any conflicting information (like if Zim thinks he DID kill Miyuki and Spork, even though he didn't.), JUST IGNORE IT! It will be explained in... about ten chapters...  
  
Stop asking all these nosy questions! : ( You're making me reveal WAY too much important information!  
  
***  
  
The Six-Month Nightmare  
  
Zim stared out the window of his Voot, listening to Gir sing. He reeeaaally wanted to hurt Gir. Really.  
  
It had been two hours since Zim had launched from Conventia in that godforsaken tiny Voot. Two hours of that blasted Doom Song, too. Zim really wished he hadn't said doom.  
  
Zim sighed and leaned against the glass window of his Voot. He didn't feel like he deserved this mission. He had blown up half a planet, for Slark's sake! And killed two Tallests. Not on purpose, though . . .  
  
Maybe this was all a trick? Maybe Zim didn't have a mission, after all? But, that would mean the Tallest were liars! They couldn't be! They were the TALLEST! But . . . how else could he explain his mission, which he never should have gotten?  
  
Zim grabbed the bases of his antenna to block out Gir's singing. "How could the Tallest be liars? But, what's so special about them? Besides height . . ."  
  
Maybe it was from all that had happened that day, or stress or something, but Zim fell asleep, right there. Only thing was that Irkens don't sleep.  
  
***  
  
Zim found himself in a desert. He was dreaming, he knew that. There were no deserts in his Voot cruiser.  
  
"Oh slark," he muttered. "Is this another one of those things with--"  
  
"HI!"  
  
"Gaah!" Zim screamed and stumbled backwards, before he turned around to face a pale creature with brownish-yellowish hair, and white eyes except for a black dot in the middle of each. "Oh, hi Mur."  
  
"So, watcha doin'?" Mur asked.  
  
Zim looked around himself. "Gee, I DUNNO, maybe I'm standing in a desert."  
  
"No, I mean what's wrong," Mur clarified.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"C'mon, Zim, every time you come to me, that means something's wrong. An' I fix it! I'm a parascientist!" Mur said proudly.  
  
Zim blinked. "You mean psychiatrist?"  
  
Mur's smile fell. "Yeah, whatever. So, what's up?"  
  
Zim sighed, but reluctantly began to talk. He trusted Mur. He had been talking to her through dreams since Spork died. "I... don't think my mission's real."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"I blew up half a planet, killed two Tallests, and caused two huge BLACKOUT- Y THINGS!"  
  
"So?" Mur shrugged. "That doesn't matter. Obviously, they gave you another chance."  
  
"But WHY? I don't deserve it!"  
  
Mur slapped Zim. Surprised, Zim took a step back. "Zim, listen to me closely," Mur said, her voice low and ominous. "Never ever, say that again. Never. Do you understand?"  
  
Zim nodded, and Mur relaxed. "Y-you just slapped me!" he said indignantly.  
  
Mur shrugged. "So, hit me back."  
  
Zim blinked. "What?!"  
  
"I said hit me!"  
  
"I can't--"  
  
"HIT ME!"  
  
"Why?" Zim asked.  
  
Mur grinned. "To prove that you're not a wimp. If someone hits you, you gotta fight back."  
  
"Yeah, but, you're the only friends I have! If I can even call you that..."  
  
"No. I am not your friend," Mur said, shaking her head. "You are Zim. Zim needs no one. You can take care of yourself. Now, say it after me. You are Zim."  
  
"iamzim."  
  
Mur snorted. "C'mon. You can do better than that!"  
  
"I am Zim!"  
  
"That's better! Now, do LOUDER! Do it the ZIM way!"  
  
"I AM ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!!!" Zim screamed.  
  
"Right!" Mur said.  
  
"But, what about my mission? How did I get another chance?"  
  
"Obviously, they were amazed by your destroying abilities. I mean, you caused a five-year blackout! Most people would settle for two years!" Mur said. "Lemme tell you, am I ever proud to be your psychic!"  
  
"Psychiatrist," Zim corrected.  
  
"Whatever. The point is, they gave you a mission because, even though you may have messed up before, they see potential in you. The Tallest can see that you can take over a planet quickly. I bet you can do it in a week!" Mur said.  
  
Zim brightened up. "I bet I can do it in four days!" He grinned evilly. "I can do it in an hour, because I am ZIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!"  
  
Mur grinned. "Right! That's why you got a mission! Now, punch me."  
  
"Not this again!"  
  
"Fine. Don't."  
  
~*~  
  
Zim woke up. He had only been asleep for five minutes. But, already, he believed in his mission entirely because of Mur.  
  
Mur, who wasn't even real.  
  
~*~  
  
So, what'd ya think? In case you're wondering, yes, Mur IS a human, but Zim doesn't know that. Next chapter will be back on Irk, centering on Tallest Red. Expect more Zimmy goodness in Chapter 4! But, don't skip Chapter 3 or anything like that. It's important to the story. : ) 


	3. Quifosenkis Death

I'm trying to come up with a good intro to chapter 3.  
  
"What is up, dood? My homies is here to totally read mah phat chapter three! Sweet, home boys!"  
  
*snort* I felt so dumb typing that.  
  
"Welcome, one and all, to CHAPTER THREE! Wiggle your... hands... in salute to the Almighty Weirdest, CKRET2!" *crowds cheer as I float down on a platform with lazers and smoke machines*  
  
I think I like that one better.  
  
Anyway, however you say it, this is chapter three! I was going to work on Crossover 1, but SOMEONE had to ask me to update THIS fic, DIDN'T they? *taps foot and glares at Silent Knight I* Ah well. Give the public what they want, and if the public wants Quifosenkis, the public GETS Quifosenkis! Besides, I kept annoying SKI in reviews, so she deserves a little revenge. SKI, you have full rights to use my 26 smeets, ghost smeet, and anything else from my reviews you want.  
  
BTW, do you know what you get if you take out the U in Quifosenkis and spell it backwards? Siknesofiq. Spaced out, that is siknes of iq. Sickness of IQ. That's not really an EXACT definition of what Quifosenkis is, but it's pretty close.  
  
And also, if you take the word Kayna and write it backwards, you get anyak, which isn't a word and doesn't mean anything. That was just some random trivia. Remember it for the final test on the last chapter. You will also have to give a page-and-a-half essay on the evolution of Irkens, according to how I say they evolved. And I'm not telling you. :-P Kidding! No test. *sigh* Wish there was though...  
  
All the events here are going on while Zim is flying to Earth, during that 6-month blank. And it's happening on Irk. And according to me, Irkens CAN fall in love, and they CAN get married, and they CAN have kids! Y'know, you take a DNA sample of the mom and the dad, and fuse it into a baby, born in a tube. To heck with the "collective-DNA-used-in-variation-for-every-Irken- theory." 'Kay? 'Kay.  
  
Disclaimer: I own Kayna, I own Quifosenkis, I own Mur, I own the plot, I OWN YOUR SOUL!! Everything else is © to Jhonen Vasquez. Except his soul. That's mine too. I own everyone's soul. Now, if only I could keep track of them all...  
  
***  
  
Quifosenkis Death  
  
"WE'VE GOT TO SAVE HER!!!!" Red screamed hysterically. Purple was holding his arms, trying to hold him back and keep him from doing anything stupid.  
  
"Red, calm down," Purple commanded. "The Doctors are doing all they can."  
  
"Is that ENOUGH?!" Red screamed. He shook out of Purple's grip. "Don't you DARE try to say something to me, or someone WILL die. I'm in a VERY BAD mood!"  
  
"But Red--"  
  
Red growled, turned around, and socked a Nurse. "Whoops."  
  
Purple floated over. "I think he's dead."  
  
Red and Purple shrugged.  
  
The Tallest were in the Hospital Ward of the Massive, where they were waiting to see if Red's wife would get better. She had been sick for months now, and the Doctors didn't think she had much time left.  
  
A Doctor approached them, and by the look on his face, Red could tell that he had bad news. Red gulped.  
  
"My Tallest?" the Doctor said solemnly. "Kayna would like to see you."  
  
Red gulped. "Will she-- will she be okay?" he asked.  
  
The Doctor sighed. "She has an hour at the most," he said. Red nodded. "I'll lead you," the Doctor said.  
  
The Doctor led the two Tallest to the Psychiatric Wing. "Excuse me?" Purple interrupted. "But, last time I say Kayna, she was sane. Why's she in the psycho hall?"  
  
"Kayna has the rare disease of Quifosenkis," the Doctor said. "It happens only to people who have to hide their personalities continuously." Red gulped. Could... this have been prevented? If only he hadn't... "Victims try to act the way they aren't. Tallest Miyuki died of Quifosenkis because she had to hide the side of her personality that might get her assassinated, the side that liked to socialize with shorter Irkens."  
  
"Miyuki did that?" Purple asked Red, who shrugged. "I never saw her act like that. She was the perfect anti-short leader," Red said.  
  
"Exactly," the Doctor said approvingly. "She hid behind a mask too long. In most species throughout the known universe, hiding like that can cause a mental disease commonly classified under 'hysteria.' Irkens get both mental and physical disease, which can kill if ignored too long. Apparently, Kayna hid like this."  
  
Red nodded, fighting the urge to cry out a confession, 'This is MY fault! It was ME that did this to her!' Red couldn't say that he had made Kayna give up her old friends, shorter ones, so that he could be seen with her without being shamed. 'Shame,' he thought mockingly. 'What about the shame of knowing you killed your lover? And you're the only one who knows about it?  
  
'Calm down!' Red ordered himself. 'It'll do know good to beat up on yourself about it. Just forget what you've been thinking about.'  
  
Red forgot what he'd been thinking about. You know how he is.  
  
"This is her room," the Doctor said. Red nodded, and slowly opened the door.  
  
Inside, Kayna was lying weakly on a bed in the middle of the room. Most of the lights in the room were out, but Red could tell Kayna was a lot thinner than when he had last seen her. "Kayna?" Red whispered, tears beginning to well up on his eyes.  
  
"Who is it?" Kayna asked, barely moving her lips. She didn't move at all. Not even her eyes opened.  
  
"It's me, Red."  
  
"Red..."  
  
Red floated over to Kayna's side, crying harder than I knew an Irken could. An' I know a lot about Irkens! "Please, Kayna, don't leave me!"  
  
"I... I don't want to... go..."she said. Slowly, she opened her green eyes and looked at Red. "We had three children... remember?"  
  
Red nodded.  
  
"Please... find them for me... please..."  
  
"I will, Kayna, I will."  
  
"Red, I... I love you."  
  
Kayna closed her eyes, and to her right, a heart-monitor-thingamabob started beeping wildly. Red looked at it. It had flat lined.  
  
"No!" he screamed.  
  
He stood there as Doctors pushed in. Took Kayna's pulse. Tried CPR. Ran. Yelled.  
  
Panic. Pain. Fear. Sadness.  
  
Suddenly, Red was outside of the Hospital Ward, in his room, and he thought Purple was trying to comfort him but he didn't hear it. He was hearing Kayna's last words. "I love you."  
  
Still crying, Red whispered, "I love you too."  
  
"Huh?" Purple said, wondering if Red was talking to him. "Oh, I get it! Red's delirious!"  
  
Red shook his head. "I'm not delirious," he said.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Kayna had asked Red to find their children. Well, he would. He'd do it for the memory of her.  
  
The memory of Kayna.  
  
~*~  
  
Short sad chapter. It's very important to the story though. Well, not very VERY important, but the fic would end up totally different without this chapter. Anywho, read and review, everyone! 


	4. Eyes

Hello! Update to Quifosenkis! This was actually originally going to be two chapters, but I decided to combine it into one. Isn't that shnizzy? (For those of you who don't know, shnizzy is GOOD!)  
  
Okay, so, here are the thank-yous and stuff:  
  
Vortianized: Yeah, Quifosenkis is weird, the way it kills because of False Personality Acts. (I like your random term!) Quifosenkis does a bunch of other weird things too, as you will discover later on in this chapter. We're going to have en expert on Quifosenkis explain why it does what it does, and some other effects of the disease. BTW, I visited your site, it's cool!  
  
Keeper of Memory Pepperochu: Glad you like my fic! Thanks!  
  
Silent Knight I: Awww, you used my smeets! Thanks! They were gettin' kinda bored, since I wasn't using them in any reviews. Yes, diseases ARE useful plot devices, aren't they? And yes, Zim will. If he wasn't gonna, I wouldn't be spending so much time explaining the disease. And, finally, yes, it is your fault I'm continuing, but I thank you for that. If it weren't for you, I'd still be sitting on my hiney reading other people's fanfics and not working on my own. So, thanks. I've updated three of my fanfics, and posted a one-shot because of your motivation! You get a hug! *huggles SKI*  
  
KitKat the great: Yeah, it is a sad chappy. Not too sad, though. I didn't want to depress anyone and cause them to commit suicide... they wouldn't have reviewed me if I'd done that! And, that part where Mur tries to get Zim to punch her? That's actually based on an argument a friend of mine had with a prep of DOOM. I've reused that scene in three stories now...  
  
twisted toaster: Okay, okay, I'll write more. And I pity you for not having digital. But, look on the bright side! Odds are, you have a computer that can download the eppies off the Internet. Mine crashes whenever I try to do that. Therefore, odds are you can see the Season 2 eppies and I can't. So, it all evens out.  
  
CyborgSmeet: One of their children is short, one's middling, and the other... I haven't decided yet, but he/she/it'll probably be middle too. The middle-height one will appear in this chapter, and the short one appeared in an earlier chapter.  
  
Ashsema: Greetings, Ashsema. Mur will be fully explained, her purpose revealed, and I'll explain how it is she is a human when Irkens have never heard of them. And, concerning your chapter 3 question, the answer is: Maaaaybeeeeee...  
  
And, to all you people who said that Red and Purple met Zim before Spork's sporking, and that Red and Purple are the same age as Zim, that will all be explained in tiiiime...  
  
This is one thing I can tell you: The entire Chapter 1? Zim doesn't remember any of the things that happened in it. He doesn't know that Spork was sporked, or that Miyuki died of Quifosenkis. He doesn't even know that he knew either of them. He doesn't remember being a really cool guy. And, all of the memories he had in the script of The Trial (I hope you all've read that by now!), they are all liessssss. Filthy Earth-lies! None of that happened! Except for The Operation Impending Doom I & II things. Those happened. But, all of his other memories are completely bogus. You'll find out why he thinks they're real later in this chapter, and the whole thing will be explained fully in a few chapters.  
  
Final note: In some previous chapters, I was confused as to whether Miyuki was a boy or a girl. So, sometimes Miyuki was called "he" and other times "she". I believe I have gone back and fixed it, but, if anyone sees anything wrong, lemme know so I can fix it, 'kay? Kay.  
  
Okay. Enough from me. Now... to FIC!  
  
Disclaimer: Jhonen owns Zim. I own the plot, Quifosenkis, Mur, Kayna, and Nakay. Yesh, Nakay is one of Kayna's kids. That was kinda OBVIOUS, though...  
  
***  
  
Eyes  
  
"Doom doom doo-doom doom, doomy doom doom..."  
  
"Gir..." Zim muttered, "Would you please stop singing?"  
  
"DOOMY DOOM DOOM! DOOMY DOOM DOOM! Doom doomy doom doooom..."  
  
'Get him,' Mur whispered in Zim's mind. 'Show him who's boss. Show him the wrath of ZIM.'  
  
Zim slowly started to edge towards Gir, when the Voot computer beeps and says, "Proximity warning: Planet ahead."  
  
"Gir!" Zim says excitedly, forgetting all about his homicidal plans. "We're here! We're finally here!"  
  
Gir holds up his hand to silence Zim. "Doom doom doom, the end!" Zim silently prayed to Slark in thanks. "Ooh, what's that?"  
  
"Planet Earth. This must be the place!" Zim said. Mur laughed in Zim's mind. 'Finally, you get to show these puny beings who's superior!' she said.  
  
"Okay, first we have to set up a base of operations," Zim told her.  
  
She replied with silence.  
  
~*~  
  
*Later, after Zim has set up his base but before he goes to Skool...*  
  
Zim wandered through his new base, still wearing his new disguise. Though he had no clue what it looked like on him. The computer had shown him a demo, but it was a tiny pixilated picture. Not very accurate at all, most likely.  
  
'Impressive,' he thought as he looked through all the labs. 'Very impressive. I could probably never build anything this amazing.'  
  
'Oh yes you could,' Mur whispered. 'And you have. Remember?'  
  
'No...'  
  
'Remember the energy-eating beast, Zim?'  
  
'No...'  
  
'Yes, you do.'  
  
'I... I do?' Zim's mind scanned all the memories in his ID pak, searching for anything about an energy-eating beast. It was there, wasn't it? Right?  
  
The ID pak said there wasn't anything in there about an energy-eater. But there had to be! Mur had said so, and she remembered everything that had ever happened to Zim, right? Instantly, the ID pak fabricated a scene from Vort, where Zim had created an energy-eating beast that had eaten Miyuki, and later on Spork. Such a thing had never happened, but Zim didn't know that.  
  
'Ah, that thing,' Zim thought. 'That's right. And I had forgotten how Miyuki and Spork died. I remember now. You're right, Mur, I could easily build something as great as this!'  
  
'That's right. Because who are you?'  
  
"I am ZIM!!" The Irken yelled, and the sound echoed and returned to him in the empty, vast lab. That was when Zim realized that he hadn't turned on the power.  
  
"Computer, on," Zim commanded, and the base lit up.  
  
"Base Comp-Unit 3-15-13-16, at your service," a deep voice said.  
  
"/My/ service, eh?" Zim mused.  
  
"That's what I said."  
  
"YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO!"  
  
"... Ooookay then."  
  
'Test its loyalty,' Mur said. 'Make sure what it says is true.'  
  
Zim thought a minute. "Computer, bring me a mirror. I want to see what I look like in an Earthen disguise."  
  
A tall mirror appeared in front of Zim. 'So, it passed the test,' Zim thought, as he glanced at the mirror.  
  
And into the eyes of a Mur-zoid.  
  
Zim did a double take. "Whazzat?" he said. "Mur, Earthens have your eyes!"  
  
"Whooooo's Muuuuuuur?" Gir drawled, standing beside Zim and looking at the mirror.  
  
'Don't tell him!' Mur whispered. 'You can't tell anyone about me...'  
  
"Uh... Mur?" Zim said nervously. "What's a Mur? I... have no clue what you're talking about, Gir..."  
  
"Oookey-dokey!" Gir walked away in the other direction.  
  
Zim snorted. "Dumb robot," he muttered.  
  
'He's not dumb, he's advanced!' Mur said. 'Tallest Purple said so.'  
  
'Whatev. There's still the problem of Earthens looking like you.'  
  
Mur remained silent.  
  
'Mur?'  
  
Silence.  
  
Zim sighed. 'I guess all I can do is continue my mission,' he thought. 'These Earth-stinks will feel my wrath, even if they DO look like Mur!'  
  
Smirking to himself, Zim went upstairs to walk around the town and learn all he could about Earth before he went to Skool.  
  
***  
  
*Back on Irk...*  
  
Red wandered around the hallways of the Massive, looking for the small store that held smoothies. Purple had sent him to get two.  
  
"Why do I always have to get the smoothies?" Red whined to himself. "Why can't Purple find some random shorter Irken to do that? Actually, that's not a bad idea...  
  
"You!" Red said, pointing at some short Irken with a purple uniform on. A Janitorial Drone uniform. The Irken looked around to see who Red was REALLY talking to. "Yes, YOU!" The Irken pointed at himself, and them looked at Red questioningly. "If you go get two..." Red thought. "Um... lemon-lime flavored smoothies and bring them back here, I'll..." Red glanced once again at the Janitorial Drone uniform. "I'll bless your mop!"  
  
"Certainly, my Tallest!" The Janitorial Drone said, saluting, and then he rushed off to get the desired smoothies.  
  
Red sighed. He did have a NAME, y'know. His subjects could at least bother to call him Tallest Red.  
  
"I've gotta make that a law," Red muttered as he sat down on a bench to wait for the Janitor. "Everyone's got to call me Tallest Red instead of just Tallest." Red scanned the crowd, mumbling, "At least I don't have to get the smoothies."  
  
'Is it just me,' he thought, 'or is everyone purposely staying five feet away from this bench I'm sitting on?' Two Guards appeared to push back any Irkens getting too close to the bench. One Irken slipped past the guards, but they grabbed him and beat him up. 'It's probably just me,' Red thought, but then his eyes were drawn to a face in the crowd. It was a young female Nurse, with green eyes.  
  
Just like Kayna's.  
  
Red stood up. It was ridiculous to hope, but maybe... this Nurse was one of his three children.  
  
"Miss?" Red said, "Miss! Nurse!"  
  
The Irken finally turned around, and gasped. "Um, excuse me, my Tallest?"  
  
"Yes, right," Red said flatly. "Call me by my name, would ya? After all, there ARE two Tallests!"  
  
"Of course, Tallest Purple."  
  
Red's eye twitched. "I'm Red. Tallest Red. Not Tallest Purple. Purple has purple eyes."  
  
"Of-- of course. Sorry, Tallest Red."  
  
Red remembered why he had gone over to the female in the first place. "Hey, what's your name?"  
  
"My name?" she blinked. "It's Nakay."  
  
"Nakay?" Red repeated. Something seemed interesting about that name... "Where did you get that name?"  
  
"Well, somehow the computer in the Download Chamber* knew who my mother was, and Nakay is an anagram of her name..." Nakay said quietly.  
  
"Was you mother's name... Kayna?" Red asked.  
  
Nakay looked surprised, but nodded quickly. "Yes! Did you know her, my Tallest?"  
  
"Know her?" Red laughed. "I was married to her!"  
  
Nakay's face went blank. "You mean, you're my dad?!?"  
  
Red nodded. "So you can stop talking so quietly and calling me Tallest and stuff. It gets kinda annoying after awhile."  
  
"Okay. Can I call you Dad?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Can I call you Red?"  
  
"... Yes."  
  
"Can I call you Reddy?"  
  
"Don't push it, kid."  
  
Nakay just grinned.  
  
Red tried to think of something to say. "So, you're a Nurse?"  
  
"Yeah. I specialize in mental diseases."  
  
"Mental?" Red repeated. "So, Nakay, how much do you know about Quifosenkis?"  
  
"A lot," Nakay said.  
  
Red nodded slowly. "Care to explain some things to me about it?"  
  
"Do I have a choice?" Nakay said. "You're a Tallest."  
  
"Good point." It was funny, but Nakay reminded Red of someone else, someone he had met years ago. Red seemed to remember it had been a male... he was pretty sure they had talked about bItter hOpe or something. It was a long time ago.  
  
They walked over to the bench Red had just left, and sat down. "So, what are some symptoms of Quifosenkis?"  
  
"Well, there are two kinds. The gradual kind, and the sudden kind. Which do you wanna hear about?"  
  
Red thought a moment. "Tell me about the one you think is most interesting."  
  
"Okay. Sudden kind it is," Nakay said. "It usually happens if an Irken is forced, very quickly, to forget about his or her old self. The Irken forgets pieces of its own life and fills in the gaps with things that fit the new personality it's trying to make. They don't even remember their old personalities."  
  
"I see," Red said. (I just realized that rhymes!) "So, what kind of thing would force someone to forget their past like that?"  
  
"Usually a traumatizing experience. Like seeing a murder or something." Nakay smiled. "Wanna know something really cool that can happen?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Okay. This phenomenon is called Post Quifosenkis Mental Reverse, or PQMR. Your ID pak deletes and replaces memories all the time with sudden Quifosenkis, but right after you get Quifosenkis, most of your memories are changed in the space of a few minutes. Having your ID pak release that kind of energy can cause a kind of psychic thing, where you remember seeing things happen that won't happen to you for maybe many years. You could remember someone a hundred years before you actually meet them! It's like the ID pak can remember everything that happens in its lifeline, from the second you were born to the second you die. That's because of all the information it has to process when it changes your memories. It's trying to remember everything that's happened to it, so that it can search through all the content and weed out anything conflicting with your new self so that you don't have a double personality. And since it's trying so hard to find everything, it really finds EVERYTHING."  
  
Red's eyes widened. "Wow."  
  
Nakay nodded. "Yeah, that is pretty neat, huh? But, the thing is, you don't KNOW you haven't met the person yet. You just take for granted that you've always known them, until you meet them for real."  
  
"What else does Quifosenkis do?"  
  
"Well, you know it kills you, but there's no known pill that can cure it, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"There's this new study on the disease other species get called hysteria that shows they cure themselves of hysteria by just plain talking."  
  
"Talking?!?"  
  
"Yeah, but they have trained specialists that talk a certain way. They're called psychiatrists. They help people with hysteria see the things they're imagining and the things that are true, and they show them why they made up memories. Some Nurses and Doctors are learning how to be psychiatrists to help Irkens with Quifosenkis." Nakay smiled proudly. "I'm one of those Nurses."  
  
Red nodded. "So... does this psychiatrist thing work just on the sudden Quifosenkis?"  
  
"No, it works on both," Nakay said, "but it works better on sudden Quifosenkis. With gradual Quifosenkis, you have all your memories, but you choose on your own to abandon your original personality. It's hard to convince people that have gradual Quifosenkis to use their real personalities. It's kind of like working with a drug addict, except it's not as easy as taking away their drugs and hoping they don't go into withdrawal. With sudden Quifosenkis, most Irkens would be happy to go back to their old personality if they only remembered it."  
  
Red nodded, and was about to ask another question, when someone cleared his throat.  
  
Red turned around. "Whaddaya want?" he asked, when he realized that the Irken behind him was the one he had sent to get the smoothies. "Oh, thanks," Red mumbled, snatching the smoothies.  
  
"H-Here's my mop, my Tallest," the Janitorial Drone stuttered, handing the mop over. Red sighed. Right. He had to "bless" this thing. How was he gonna do that?  
  
"If you don't mind my asking, my Tallest," the Drone said, interrupting Red's thoughts, "is that Nurse your girlfriend, or something?"  
  
Red glared at the Drone, forgetting about the whole mop issue. "You ARE joking, right?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"That Nurse is half my age. And you think I'm dating her."  
  
"Um..."  
  
Red handed the mop back. "Just for that, I'm not blessing this."  
  
"Awww!"  
  
Red turned to Nakay as the Drone walked away. "So, can I talk to you tomorrow?"  
  
"Sure," Nakay said. "Where do you wanna meet?"  
  
"How 'bout at the food court?" Red smiled. "By the nacho vending machine."  
  
Nakay blinked. "There's a nacho vending...?" She shrugged. "Sure."  
  
Red got up to go. "So, I'll see you tomorrow, Nakay."  
  
"Right. Bye," Nakay smiled, "Dad."  
  
~*~  
  
Red floated into the control room of the Massive. "Hey, Purps!" he yelled. "You'll never guess what just happened!"  
  
"Uh, you took forever getting my smoothie?" Purple yelled back from his chair, annoyed.  
  
Red shook is head as he sat down in a seat beside Purple and handed him his smoothie. "No, I met one of my kids today."  
  
Purple took a sip of his smoothie. "No kiddin'? Hey, this smoothie is melted!"  
  
"Well, sor~ry," Red said, taking a sip of his own. "At least it isn't warm, right?"  
  
Purple grunted.  
  
"Incoming transmission!" one of the Irkens in the control room said. "From... Earth."  
  
"What is... Earth?" Purple asked. Red shrugged.  
  
"Invader Zim reporting, sirs. The mission goes well. But surely you expected that from me."  
  
Red dropped his smoothie, and both Tallests gaped.  
  
"Zim? You're alive?!"  
  
"So very alive, and full of goo. Mission goo!" Zim grinned, and in his mind, Mur did too.  
  
~*~  
  
*the Download Chamber is where all Irkens go after they're born to get basi info downloaded into their ID paks ang receive their names, according to The Trial. I've heard it called other things, but I'm pretty sure that's the official name.  
  
Well, either that chapter explained a lot for you, or you have no clue what's going on. Okay, here are some obscure things that you might want to know but might not have caught.  
  
1) With sudden Quifosenkis, you see people you'll meet in the future, and Zim has a mind-voice of a girl of a species he hadn't heard of before this chapter.  
  
2) With Quifosenkis, your personality changes drastically, and as we all saw in chapter 1, Zim was a lot different a hundred years ago than he is now.  
  
3) With sudden Quifosenkis, your memories are replaced by false ones throughout your life, and we saw in this very chapter the fabrication of the energy-beast story, which Zim now remembers as if it had really happened.  
  
4) Nakay, who is Red's daughter, reminds him of the Zim we saw in chapter 1. Why might that be?  
  
5) bItter hOpe is a really, really cool band, and has not broken up yet but is still doing concerts on Conventia, even if it has got a new drummer. (I think that was the most obscure thing of all!) Please ignore the previous comment. It, in any body, shape, or form, will not affect this story. Thank you.  
  
Okay, so please Review. The button is half an inch below this paragraph. It wouldn't be too hard to click it... that's right... click, type in a name, and say either "Good fic" or "Bad fic." I'll even let you copy/paste one of the previous two comments. I'm makin' this easy for you! You can even copy/paste this name for use: Anonymous. See, now you don't have to waste you time doing ANYthing! I've done the work for you! 


	5. Dillusional Skool

Hello. Is now time for next chappy. Yippers!  
  
First, as always, response to my lovely reviews:  
  
Point Blank: You've been printing out the chapters?! Well, cool! In response to your other comments: 1. Yes, it does seem like he would act like this in the show, wouldn't he? That's what I was aiming for. I try to keep characters as IC as possible. Which is pretty hard for Zim, seeing as he's in the middle of a life-altering OOC event... 2. Thank you. I believe this is one of my best plots. Actually, it's a combination of two separate fics I was previously going to do with no connection to each other: The Truth, which contained the mind-voice Mur, and the original fic Quifosenkis, with a disease that really DOES mess with your IQ. If anyone wants to know the plots of the original fics, lemme know in review and I'll post it next chapter in the author bios. Don't expect me to write either fic out anytime soon, though. In the other fics, Mur was an unintentional Mary Sue and the original Quifosenkis was kinda cliché. 3. I'm glad you liked the head-voice-brainwashy-thingy. I thought it was pretty cool myself. And finally, answering your last questions, Mur doesn't really have a conscious of her own so she doesn't know she's human, she IS indeed VERY evil even if she's not real and doesn't know it, and yes, I am going to tell you. I just did. Wow, that was long.  
  
Pirate Monkey: The thing on Zim's back is an ID Pak? Uuuuh... Be right back! *runs off and whacks Mars for telling me that it's a Nanopak* Sorry about that mistake... I think I've got it fixed... ^.^;;  
  
Elendil Star-Lover: Thank you.  
  
Ashsema: Yeah, it's good that Red found one of his kids, I'm glad I explained Quifosenkis well, even though there is OH SO MUCH MORE to be learned! I'm glad you pitied the janitorial drone; he lives a sad sad life. Even though in about half a year he'll strike it rich by auctioning off his almost-blessed mop on Irk-Bay (bad E-Bay rip-off). So, yeah. Glad you like.  
  
Silent Knight I: I'm glad you liked the info list. And I'm glad you liked how I tied the chapter to The Nightmare Begins. I worked hard on that. I had to go back and forth from thescarymonkeyshow.com like five times to get all the lines right. Of course, I COULD have just copy/pasted... but where's the fun in that? I'm glad you like Nakay, she will become very important later in the fic. And SKI, don't call off the "drooly smeets". Leave 'em on Zim. Just don't let them kill him, 'kay?  
  
Infuriated: No it doesn't!  
  
Lard Nar: Don't go down to infuriated's level by insulting him/her back. But I do like the support. Good name! Lard Nar ROXX! And glad you like the fic!  
  
I also discovered some... errors in the previous chapter. Nakay changed to Nayak halfway through the chap (it's Nakay, believe me), there was a mix-up as to whether the Tallests' beverages were smoothies or slushies (smoothies), the title of the chapter was Eyes but in the actual document it was called On Earth With Mur-Zoids (it's Eyes), and there was that whole ID pak/Nanopak issue. Yeesh. I don't even WANT to look at my other chapters! Anyway, that's pretty much been fixed... I hope...  
  
There are some things that happen that may seem... unexpected. Don't believe anything until you finish reading the chapter. Nothing is as it seems.  
  
This chapter happens on Thursday the 8th, the missing day of The Wettening. There was Wed. 7, then "the next day" Fri. 9. So, this happens in the missing day. That's because this chapter is kind of like a Twilight Zone deal, and the missing day is kinda like a Twilight Zone deal, and when you have two deals you've either got a business partnership or a treaty! Well, this doesn't have to be on Thurs. 8. It's just something random I thought up to make this story more interesting...  
  
Okay, now, with that with, on to chapter... which chapter is this? Umk. I think it's five. Yeah. Onto chapter five! WH00T!  
  
Disclaimer: Hey, what can I say, I like writing these! *Ahem* I don't own Zim. If I did, Zim would take over the world, Lard Nar would take over the Irken Empire, Dib would marry Gretchen and help Zim rule Earth, Gaz would marry Lard Nar and rule Irk, and there'd be whole eppies following the random lives of non-Invader or Tallest Irkens! Thank slark I'm not in charge.  
  
***  
  
Delusional School  
  
"Zim!"  
  
Zim's gaze left the calendar to his right, which read Thurs. 8. "Whu?"  
  
"What did I just say?" Mrs. Bitters snarled.  
  
Zim blinked. "Um..." He thought hard. He hadn't been listening! He'd been trying to remember the name of a band. Bitter... something. Was "bitter" spelled weird? Maybe it was "bitterr"... no...  
  
"Were you even listening, Zim?"  
  
"I bet Zim was coming up with some other horrible plan to enslave us all! Or maybe he was concentrating on reading our minds!!" Dib suddenly paled. "Wait a second... Zim, you can read MINDS?!?"  
  
"No, I can't--!" Zim cut himself off. "Wait, yes, I CAN! I know exactly what you're thinking! You're thinking... eh... about protecting your brain- meats from my mind-reading amazingness! Yes!"  
  
Dib's eyes widened. "We're all doomed now..."  
  
"The question still stands, Zim!" Mrs. Bitters interjected.  
  
"I know exactly what you said," Zim said carefully, biding for time. "Yes, exactly what you said... You said..." An idea hit Zim, and he smirked. "You said 'Zim! What did I just say? Were you even listening, Zim? The question still stands, Zim!'"  
  
Mrs. Bitters blinked, then growled and slid back behind her desk.  
  
"Oh, by the way, we have a new student," Mrs. Bitters said grumpily. "That was what I was about to say when Zim interrupted us."  
  
"But I didn't interrupt--"  
  
"SILENCE!" the demonic teacher roared, then calming quickly, waved at the door. "You can come in now."  
  
Zim glanced boredly at the door, then sat bolt upright when the new student walked in. "M-mur Woods?" he stuttered, and his mind-voiced stared back in shock.  
  
"Hey, Zim, how'd you know her name? Huh? Huh?" Dib yelled. "Is she one of your ALIEN friends?"  
  
"Eh... no!" Zim said quickly. "I knew it because... I read her mind! Like I did YOURS!" The look on Dib's face almost made Zim forget about Mur.  
  
"Alright, enough!" Mrs. Bitters shouted. "Zita, we need a seat for Mur. You're fired."  
  
"B-but, I don't have a job!" Zita protested.  
  
"Would you like to be a student aide, Zita?"  
  
"Sure, Mrs. Bitters!" Zita said, smiling dumbly.  
  
"Okay. Now, you're fired! Out of my classroom!"  
  
Zita burst into tears and ran out of the room. Mur watched her go. "O... kaaay..." Walking passed Zim to her new seat, she whispered, "You're right. This planet IS crazy."  
  
Zim smirked and whispered, "Told ya."  
  
"Zim!" Mrs. Bitters barked. "Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"  
  
"No, not really," Zim said, oblivious. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"What did you say to Mur?"  
  
"Oh! I said 'Told ya.'" Zim grinned innocently. There was no way he could get in trouble for that!  
  
"In that case, you're getting detention for using the word 'ya'."  
  
The grin fell off Zim's face. "WHAT?!"  
  
"'Ya' is a slang term. If you start using slang terms, you'll start cussing, and if you cuss, you'll become a rapper, and if you become a rapper, you'll go to jail, and then you'll be DOOOOMED!" Mrs. Bitters paused for effect. "It's for your own good, Zim."  
  
Zim gaped at Mrs. Bitters. If Irken law were as strict as Mrs. Bitters was, the Resisty never would have been formed. That was one tough human.  
  
"I'm not tough, I'm just doing my job," Mrs. Bitters said, flipping through her papers to find a detention pass for Zim.  
  
Zim leaned back involuntarily.  
  
"Apparently you're not the only one who can read minds, Zim," Mur whispered jokingly. Zim nodded.  
  
***  
  
"There's no way you can get into my head now, Zim!" Dib said. Zim turned around, looking away from the ugly sight of his skool lunch to the uglier sight of Dib's head. Which was now in a helmet. "What on Irk is THAT, stink- beast?"  
  
"It's a helmet, lined on the inside with aluminum foil!" Dib smirked. "You can't read my mind now!"  
  
"Say, can I borrow that?" Zim asked. Dib narrowed his eyes. "Why?"  
  
"So Mrs. Bitters can't read my mind," Zim explained. Dib opened his mouth, but before he could speak Zim said, "You would benefit too. If I have the helmet on, I can't read anyone else's minds." Dib thought it over, grunted, and threw the helmet in Zim's face.  
  
Mur sat down with her skool lunch just as Zim was putting the helmet on. "What is that?"  
  
"The best thing I've ever got from Dib," Zim said simply. As an afterthought, he added, "Besides the film I made him forget about. There may have been one picture of me on it, but the picture of himself was priceless!" Zim and Mur started laughing at the memory. If you had seen the picture, you'd be laughing too. 'Cause, you see, the picture was of... never mind. I could never describe it good enough for you to imagine to its full extent of funniness. Sorry.  
  
And thus, Zim and Mur talked through lunch. Then they went to class. And after skool, Zim went to detention and Mur went home. Joy. So, let's skip past that boring stuff, shall we?  
  
***  
  
"Gir! I'm home!" Zim yelled, coming into the base and throwing off his helmet, wig, and contacts.  
  
Gir ran into the room with a bird taped to his back and a hula-hoop in his head. "IMA ANGEL!" Gir yelled, and kicked Zim in the foot. "Slark hath bless-ed ye."  
  
"Riiiiiiiiiiight," Zim said, walking around the "angel," who was busy trying to consume the helmet. "Gir, what are you doing?"  
  
Gir pulled the helmet out of his mouth. "Everyone needs more iron in their diet!" he declared, before shoving the helmet back in his mouth and finally managing to swallow it. "YEE!"  
  
Zim sighed. "I'm going to be downstairs. Close all the doors and windows, don't make any phone calls, stay in the house, and don't burn anything down. Got it?"  
  
"YES SIR!" Gir said, saluting. Zim nodded, walked into the kitchen, and flushed himself down the toilet.  
  
"Well, today was exciting," Zim said, sitting down in front of a computer terminal that wasn't occupied with either watching the base's security or stabilizing on of Zim's many experiments. Turning it on, he logged onto the Irkennet. Going to a search site, Zoogle (so many bad puns...), he typed in "band" and "bitter," hoping to find out what the name of the music group he couldn't remember was. But before the results appeared, Zim fell asleep.  
  
And as I have told you before, Irkens don't sleep.  
  
***  
  
*On Irk again*  
  
"So, how can you tell if someone has Quifosenkis? I mean, if you didn't know them before they got it?"  
  
Red and Nakay were sitting in the hospital ward. They had gotten tests to prove that they were, indeed, father and daughter. Now they were just waiting for the results.  
  
"Well, there's not many ways. But if it's gradual, the Irken might seem stressed or depressed some of the time for no reason. That's the stress of having to keep the act up. They also might seem depressed, or accidentally start to act the way they used to. It's a little bit more difficult to see it with sudden Quifosenkis, but it is possible. The Irken might talk to the people it saw in the future from PQMR. That's a sure-fire way to tell. But, there are some freaks who just talk to themselves." Nakay leaned forward. "Wanna know a really cool way to tell?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Okay," Nakay began. "This is a pretty unreliable way to tell, but it's really neat. It only happens to people with sudden Quifosenkis, though. You know what our optikos are, right?"  
  
"Our what?"  
  
Nakay snorted, but she was smiling. "Optikos are the two shiny spots in our eyes, the non-translucent parts. We see out of those parts. They're kind of like what some alien species call pupils."  
  
"I see... I didn't know they had a name."  
  
"Well, they do, and they're important to discovering sudden Quifosenkis. You know that our optikos expand and contract?"  
  
"Sure, in different temperatures, right?"  
  
"Right. In the cold they expand and in the heat they contract. When it gets cold or warm enough, they can expand or contract to their full extent. If it gets much colder or hotter after that, you could go blind."  
  
"I don't see how that connects with Quifosenkis."  
  
"Well, if you have sudden Quifosenkis, your optikos bi— that's the smaller optikos— might expand and contract at a high speed. They will, in effect, vibrate."  
  
Red's eyes widened. "Wow."  
  
"Yeah, except this doesn't work very often. They'll only vibrate if you have green or red eyes, are a male, are less than five hundred years old, and have reached either the maximum heat or cold your optikos can take. And even then, you only have a thirty percent chance of vibrating."  
  
Red whistled. "And I thought it was hard to become Tallest! Getting your eyes to vibrate seems a lot harder."  
  
"Sure, but would you want them to?" Nakay asked. "It would mean you have sudden Quifosenkis."  
  
Red thought this over. "Good point."  
  
"Optikos are useful for other things. For example, the translucent non- optikos parts of the eyes— the post oculus— have a kind of "fingerprint" that's used to tell if two people are related."  
  
"Really?" Red said. "So that's why that doctor grabbed my head, inked my eyeball, and pushed it on a piece of paper? He needed to do that to find out if we're related?" Red blushed. "Great. Now I feel guilty for throwing him out the airlock.  
  
Nakay laughed.  
  
***  
  
Zim woke up in the living room. "Eh?" he mumbled. "What happened to Zoogle?"  
  
He sat up, and heard Gir singing behind him. "I don't want the grand tour, just show me the back door, I'll explore your sick mind next week!"  
  
Something inside Zim recognized the tune, vaguely. Shrugging it off, Zim turned around to face Gir. "What am I doing up here? Wasn't I downstairs?"  
  
Gir shrugged. "You fell asleep here last night." He continued the song. "'Cause you're a... Sicko-Weirdo-Killer-Psycho! I wish I'd never even met you! You're a Sadistic-Masochist, an' you got Qui-fo-sen-kis, and I wish I'd never met you!"  
  
Zim stood up. "I'd better be getting to skool," he said, thinking, 'What is that song??'  
  
"Don't drag me to your imagination, with dreams of death and mutilation, save your thoughts 'til the invention, of the Padded Room version 2!"  
  
"Where did you hear that song, Gir?" Zim asked.  
  
"Ooooh, that? I heard it on the raaaadio! I gots the signal from Irk!"  
  
"From Irk?" Zim mused, leaving his base. "How come I can never pick up any Irken stations?" Zim started walking down the street. "That's right. Mur always insists we listen to Earthen stations.  
  
"I wonder why?"  
  
***  
  
Zim was working on a plan at his desk when the tardy bell rang. Strange, Mur wasn't there yet. She had never struck Zim as the type of person who'd be late.  
  
Zim looked up at the door. 'Maybe she slipped past me when I wasn't looking.' Turning around to see if Mur was in the seat behind him, he saw...  
  
...Zita.  
  
"Eh?" Zim said. "What're you doing here?"  
  
Zita blinked. "Uh, this is my desk? Hello?"  
  
"No it's not!" Zim protested. Now the kids around them were starting to look. "You were fired yesterday, remember?"  
  
Now Zita looked really confused. "I was what?"  
  
"Fired! Kicked out! What're you doing back, and where's Mur?"  
  
"Mur who?" Zita asked, perplexed.  
  
"MUR!" Zim screamed, grabbing Zita's shirt in both hands. "MUR WOODS, the girl who took YOUR seat!!"  
  
"What the heck are you talking about, Zim?" Dib asked cool. Zim spun around to face Dib. "Dib-stink! You know who I'm talking about, right? Mur?"  
  
Dib snorted and shook his head, smirking. "And who's Mur, one of your alien friends?"  
  
"NO!" Zim said, exasperated, and starting to feel a little scared. "The girl who moved in yesterday! On the eighth?"  
  
Now Dib looked confused. "Thursday the eighth?"  
  
Zim grinned at Dib despite himself, glad he was finally getting through. "Yes, Thursday! Yesterday!"  
  
Dib pointed at the calendar. "But, Zim, today's Thursday."  
  
Zim stared at Dib, then slowly turned around to face the calendar. A horrified shock went down his spine. The calendar clearly read Thurs. 8.  
  
"Th-there must be some mistake!" Zim insisted. "Maybe someone forgot to change it!"  
  
"I change the calendar every morning," Dib said. "I still have yesterday's date." Dib pulled the crumpled up paper out of his pocket. Everyone crowded around to see it. It said Wed. 7, in clear black letters.  
  
"Well, maybe you pulled that paper yesterday," Zim reasoned, his voice shaky. "I don't know."  
  
"My planner for Wednesday is filled," a voice at the back of the classroom said. Everyone turned to look at Lora. Indeed, her planner was filled in with homework assignments for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but not Thursday or Friday. All the other kids looked in their planners too. A disquieted murmur filled the room, all waiting to see what Zim would find.  
  
With shaking hands, Zim pulled his skool planner out of his ID pak, and opened it to the week of May 5-9. Despite the fact that Zim remembered writing down yesterday's assignments, the fourth column was empty.  
  
Zim stared at the planner, stunned. He was a little scared my now. Okay, he was terrified. Very slowly, so his shaky hands wouldn't drop it, Zim zipped the planner closed and put it back in his ID pak. "Well," he said carefully, ignoring the fearful knot in his throat, "it looks like you were right, Dib. It's Thursday."  
  
Outside, lightning flashed, the rain continuing from the storm that had been going off-and-on since two days ago— sorry, the storm from yesterday.  
  
***  
  
Zim wasn't even paying attention to his so-called "food." He was busy using a computer pad (think Irken laptop shaped like a tray) to look up "missing time" on Zoogle. Obviously, something strange had just happened, but what?  
  
Zim was about to click on a link that said "mental disease," when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up. "Mur!" he said, louder than necessary, but he was relieved. "Where were you?"  
  
Mur shrugged. "I was a little late. Whatcha doin'?"  
  
"Looking up missing time," Zim said. "It seems the other kids don't remember you moving in yesterday."  
  
Mur sat down beside Zim, and noticed what he was about to click on. "Why don't you go to that one instead?" She gestured to a link that said "Great Foodening."  
  
"Why?" Zim asked. "What does stuff that happens on Foodcourtia have to do with missing time?"  
  
"Well, there's that twenty-year time warp thingie, isn't there?" Mur said. "Just, don't go into that mental stuff."  
  
"Why?" Zim repeated.  
  
Mur shrugged. "This is about science. Not some quack's theories. How is learning about how to cure depression going to find our missing day, hmm?"  
  
Zim thought about it."I guess you have a point..."  
  
"Hey Zim!" Dib yelled. Zim turned to face him, turning Mur to his back.  
  
"What is it this time, Dib-stink?" Zim yelled in response.  
  
"Why are you talking to empty air, huh?" Dib demanded. "An invisible allie?" Dib smirked. "Or an imaginary friend?"  
  
Zim's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about? Isn't it clear that I'm talking to—" Zim turned around. "—Mur?"  
  
She was gone. Even her lunch. There was no evidence she'd ever been there. Zim pressed his palm against the place she had been sitting on. Even through his glove, Zim could feel the cold of the wooden bench.  
  
Slowly, Zim looked up at the rest of the room. Every child was staring at him.  
  
"What's going on here?" Zim whispered.  
  
~*~  
  
And so ends chapter... um... five! Riiiight. It's thirteen pages. Which is good. Thirteen is my lucky number.  
  
Now, a recap of what's going on, for my slower fans. Zim can now see his mind-voice, he has imagined a whole day, and is freaked out. Also, notice how Mur carefully made sure Zim didn't go to a site that explained mental problems. That's so he doesn't find out he has Quifosenkis. Also, in case you were sondering, the song Gir was singing is, indeed, a bItter hOpe song.  
  
Remember that stuff about the optikos. It'll soon be important!  
  
This is line 13 of page 13! Wh00t! ~Ciao 


	6. Doom Dream: Part I

Wazaaaaaaaaap?! Welcome to chapter six! Now, in response to my loverly reviewers:  
  
Keeper of Memory Pepperochu: You have an IQ of 126?! Go Keeper! It's neat that you have a Techo you call Mur... I feel honored, even though you didn't name it after MY Mur. I have a weird mind, y'know? I only have one Final Fantasy game, FFT for GameBoy Advanced, which I call my GameSlave Deluxe. I want more FF games, though...  
  
Dragon Of The Rose: a psychic-psycho? I call those psychicos! Zim's not really a psychico, he didn't predict what was gonna happen on Thursday, he just imagined something that COULD have happened but didn't. Still, he might be a psychico... wait till the end of the story to see...  
  
Pirate Monkey: Is Quifosenkis like schizophrenia? Well, sorta. Schizophrenia won't kill you, but it's similar. Yes, I do see the name resemblance. Lard Nar, Pirate Monkey... both names have one N! Yup.  
  
Darqx: Zim and Dib complimenting me on my story? Even if it is in code, I am honored! *gringrin*  
  
Ashsema: Greeting Ashsema, I'm glad you like the stuff about Irken eyes. They're actually words in either Greek or Latin, or maybe one's one and one's the other... unus means "one," so I used unus to mean the primary or number 1 optikos, and bi means "two." Optikos means vision, so these two spots are kinda like the pupils. Heheh, the poor doctor... The Tallest seem prone to throwing Irkens into space, don't they? I mean, they did it twice in Battle of the Planets. And the first time they didn't even get the right person! It probably is terrifying losing one's mind, if they know they're losing it, but if you know you're crazy then you're not. Well, that's the phrase... but Zim probably is pretty creeped out. Dib's probably taking this pretty well. After all, he thinks Zim's being his usual space-alien self. But all that'll change soon enough. In this very chapter, in fact!  
  
Invader Alex: Thank you for your review, and for making this a fave!  
  
I love getting reviews... thanks, you guys! If it weren't for you, I would've given up on writing this!  
  
So, in this chapter, Zim has a weird dream, we learn more about this wild and wacky (WACKY!?!) disease of Quifosenkis, and our favorite Irken flips out royally. Besides that, Dib actually becomes IMPORTANT for a chapter! For me, that's a big thing. Usually, unless Dib's the star of my fic, he doesn't appear unless it's briefly.  
  
I'm assuming that Red and Purple are twins. It just makes sense to me! And they seem too close in my mind to be just friends.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. If I did, I would have used the meager profits I had made off of it to open my own TV station, buy some alien cartoons, and start broadcasting "Aliens Live!" with IZ taking up at least half of prime time. Wouldn't that be nice?  
  
***  
  
Doom Dream: Part I  
  
Zim tossed and turned in his sleep, sweating profusely. He was mumbling rabidly and, occasionally, a strain of a song would pass through his lips. Of course, he was having a dream...  
  
***  
  
"Sucked inside your sorry mind, I know just what I will find, things that'll make the strongest Soldier shriek," Zim hummed, walking down a dark street. "I don't want the grand tour, just show me the back door, I'll explore your sick mind next week!"  
  
It was almost time for the funeral ceremony of a Tallest. Zim was on Conventia, headed there. He had teleported down pretty far away from the specific convention hall with the ceremony, so he was pretty much alone.  
  
Since the concert that had been originally scheduled was cancelled, Zim made up for the fact my singing some of their songs. "'Cause you're a... Sicko-Weirdo-Killer-Psycho! I wish I'd never even met you! You're a Sadistic-Masochist, an' you got Qui-fo-sen-kis, and I wish I'd never met you! Don't drag me to your imagination, with dreams of death and mutilation, save your thoughts 'til the invention, of the Padded Room version 2!"  
  
Zim turned down a narrow alley. It was almost completely dark. He thought he heard something. Zim's breath caught.  
  
He stood there several seconds, before he started walking again. In a quivery voice, he began singing again. "Have you got nothing in your Pak? Sane programming you seem to lack. So maybe we should send you back? To the Download Chamber with you!"  
  
Zim felt something on his shoulder. He whirled around, and screamed.  
  
***  
  
"Have you got... ungh... the strongest Soldier... grrrrAAAAAAAH!"  
  
Zim woke up with a bloodcurdling scream, eyes wide and optikos contracted from his own body heat. "Wh-what-- where--?"  
  
Zim looked around to see Mur standing beside him. "You fell asleep in the living room and had a bad dream," she explained calmly.  
  
"I-I did?" Zim looked around. He was not in some dark alley, he was in his own base. Gir was watching The Ogres Of Mississippi.  
  
"Don't go into the attic! NOT THE ATTIC!" the robot shrieked. Zim looked down at Gir in relief. Nothing scary here... just Gir and... and the Earth TV show. He was safe.  
  
"That was just a dream?" Zim asked, his optikos gradually returning to normal size as he cooled down.  
  
"Yep. You're safe here!"  
  
Zim nodded. But, a nagging doubt formed in the back of his mind. "Are you sure that it was just a dream? It seemed so real... like a memory..."  
  
"It was just a dream!" Mur snapped. "Get it?"  
  
Zim gulped. "Y-yes SIR!" he said. Mur's eyes softened. "Okay, Zim, don't get all wimpy on me. You're tough, remember? Nothing scares you."  
  
Zim nodded. "Okay. Right. Tough. Strong." Zim could see he wasn't convincing Mur he was okay. "INVINCIBLE! I AM ZIM!"  
  
Mur smiled. "That's right!" Zim grinned his trademark Doomy Smile©.  
  
"Who're you talkin' to?" Gir asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Zim asked. "Mur. She's sitting right beside me!"  
  
Gir glanced back at the empty seat he was gesturing to. "I didn't know you made friends with the couch..." Gir mumbled, before turning back to the movie. "Huh? NO! Don't die, Mikey! YOU'RE THE SEXY CHARACTER!" Gir gasped, then sighed as "Mikey" was devoured by an ogre. "The good-looking comic relief characters always go first," the robot said regretfully.  
  
Zim eyed Gir warily, before turning back to Mur. "Eh, he's just weird." Mur nodded in response.  
  
***  
  
"I got the test back!" Nakay said, barging into the Massive's control room. Two guards moved to push her back outside, but Red waved them aside.  
  
"So? What's it say?" Red said eagerly.  
  
Nakay studied the papers carefully for a few seconds, before looking up and declaring, "You're pregnant."  
  
Red's jaw dropped. "I'm WHAT??" Nakay laughed.  
  
"C'mon, did you think I was serious? It says we're related! I'm your daughter!"  
  
Red let out a whoop. "AAAAAALL RIGHT!"  
  
"Could you keep it down?!" Purple yelled. "We've got a transmission coming in!"  
  
Red groaned and floated back to his seat. "From who?"  
  
"From Earth, Sirs," one of the Communications Officers said.  
  
Purple groaned, but Red smiled. "Hey Nakay, you're a brain doctor, right?"  
  
Nakay walked up beside Red. "Well, that's putting it in rather broad terms..."  
  
"Well, try to figure this guy out!" Red challenged. "Invader Zim. Caused both Horribly Painful Overload Days, killed two Tallests, made Slark-only- knows-how-many explosions, came back from exile saying he'd quit, and is a general nutcase."  
  
Nakay thought a second, and then nodded. "Show me."  
  
"Put Zim on the main view screen!" Red commanded.  
  
Zim's face flickered into view. "Greetings, my Tallest! I'd like to inform you that I'm doing alright--"  
  
"Well, if you were dead you wouldn't be calling us," Purple muttered.  
  
"--and I believe this planet's in some kind of time warp," Zim said.  
  
Purple's antenna lifted. The scholarly side of him loved anything involving the fourth dimension. Red didn't get that at all. What was so fascinating about time? "What makes you say that?" Purple asked.  
  
Zim's own antenna lifted, and his eyes glowed with pride. He'd actually caught one of the Tallests' attention! "A day repeated itself, and the humans didn't even realize it. Also, some of the events changed. Some preliminary research I've done suggests it might have been from a strange chemical that fell from the sky the day before, a chemical the Earth-beasts refer to alternately as 'water' and 'rain.' But they have no recollection of the loop. Perhaps it is because they absorbed more of this water/rain than I did."  
  
Purple nodded. "I see... fascinating..." He cleared his throat. "Good job, Zim. I expect you will do more research on this loop?"  
  
Zim's eyes brightened even more, and he saluted enthusiastically. "Yes sir, my Tallests! Invader Zim, signing off!" The screen went dark.  
  
Red turned to Nakay. "Well?"  
  
Nakay thought for a moment. "Zim seemed very pleased with Purple's praise-- "  
  
"We're not on a first-name basis yet, Nurse Nakay!" Purple interjected.  
  
"Sorry. He was pleased with Tallest Purple's praise, and even though most Irkens should be happy with honor from either of you, Zim seemed moreso than usual. Maybe he suffers from low self-esteem?"  
  
"Humph!" Purple said. "He certainly doesn't show it!"  
  
"Well, most people with such a problem don't. But he seems a better actor than most. I think he has a good friend or something giving him an ego- boost, keeping him from getting too caught up in his problem. That is, assuming I'm right."  
  
Red nodded. "Anything else you noticed?"  
  
"Well, Zim seems pretty dedicated. And he's a hard worker. If he's done what you've said he's done, though, maybe he's a bit obsessive with his work. When's the last time that guy's got a vacation?"  
  
Red and Purple looked at each other. "Well, Irkens in the military are offered a month long break every couple of years, but Zim's always skipped over his to keep working."  
  
"Yes. He's definitely obsessive. But, the one thing I saw that I think is the most interesting is that Zim needs sleep."  
  
Red and Purple's eyes widened. "He sleeps?" Red repeated. "Irkens haven't needed sleep since we began wearing out ID Paks!"  
  
Nakay nodded. "I know. Which is why this is so interesting. Most species that sleep do so because they need to rest their minds after their bodies and minds are worn out. While they sleep, their body gets to relax and their mind gets to subconsciously sort through the day's problems. Well, ID Paks are programmed so they can solve a given amount of their host Irken's mental struggles without interfering with daily activities, and Irken bodies have been bred to fatigue very slowly. Sitting down for a few seconds would be enough to restore an Irken's physical energy.  
  
"I don't think Zim sleeps because he's physically tired. When he saluted, he did so with such energy that he couldn't possibly be fatigued. But ID Paks are still just machines, and they can only calculate through problems so fast. I think that if Zim needs sleep, it's because the ID Pak can't calculate enough to settle his mind. He needs to use his biological brain to help sort through these problems, and he can't do that if he's awake. He's got some sort of mental stress, I think."  
  
Purple whistled. "She got those brains from her uncle!"  
  
Red ignored Purple's comment. "So, how did you figure out Zim sleeps?"  
  
"In the corner of his eyes were dried tears. In this case, that doesn't mean he was crying, it means they just sat there long enough to dry, which could only have happened if he had his eyes closed for several hours. Which would mean he was asleep. If he'd rubbed his eyes recently and got the tears out, I probably wouldn't have figured it out."  
  
"Yet another one of the eye's many uses," Red commented.  
  
Purple shook his head. "I don't understand how you can get into all this mental stuff. It's all pretty boring to me."  
  
Red glared at Purple. "Yeah, well, how can you get into that time stuff? Huh?"  
  
"So, Red it the psychologist and Purple the chronologist?" Nakay said. "Makes sense."  
  
Both Tallests turned to look at her and said, "How so?"  
  
And so, Nakay ended up going into a long-winded explanation of how Red's love of lazers and Purple's of smoke machines connects to their love of psychology and chronology.  
  
Red and Purple blinked, flabbergasted. "She gets her brains from me, but she learned to ramble from you," Purple said. Red whacked him.  
  
***  
  
Zim dragged himself into his base, barely able to get the door closed behind him before he collapsed on the floor.  
  
"Bad day, huh?" Zim looked up and saw Mur sitting on the couch, watching the Scary Monkey Show with Gir.  
  
"I didn't see you when I came in," Zim said. Mur shrugged. "I was here the whole time."  
  
Zim managed, with his spider legs, to drag himself up onto the couch. "Dib is REALLY annoying."  
  
Mur glanced at Zim. "Just annoying?"  
  
"Well, yeah... why?"  
  
Mur snorted. "He's trying to stop your mission, and has messed up countless plans. He's a jerk."  
  
"Well, not really," Zim said hesitantly. He had learned long ago to be careful when arguing with Mur. "He has a good reason to try to stop me. He's protecting his planet! If I was on Irk and he was trying to take over, would I be a jerk to stop him?"  
  
"Of course not!" Mur yelled. "The Irkens are superior. Irkens were BORN to rule all. You were destined to take over this planet. Should anyone get in your way? Well?"  
  
Zim started to get angry at Mur. "NO! Of course not!"  
  
"Well, then, why should Dib? The little stink-beast, water-balloon thrower, smelly, weak, stupid, crazy little brat! Does this planet deserve to live? So why does he defend it?"  
  
Zim's anger slowly left Mur and began focusing on Earth, the humans, and Dib in particular. "No, it doesn't deserve to live. You're right. Dib deserves to DIE!"  
  
Zim noticed Gir looking at him. "Eh? What?"  
  
"You're doin' that thing again," Gir said plainly.  
  
Zim blinked. "What thing?"  
  
"The weird talky thing."  
  
"What are you talking about??"  
  
"Maybe he's talking about your weird talking-to-empty-space thing," a voice from behind Zim said. He whirled around. "DIB!" He felt the rage Mur had planted in him grow. "What the slark do YOU want?"  
  
Dib almost made some comment about how Zim had slipped out the alien word "slark," but he had more pressing questions. "Who are you talking to, Zim? Your imaginary friend?"  
  
Zim blinked. "Eh? No! I was talking to Mur!"  
  
Dib nodded smugly. "Sure, deny it. Poor little Zimmy has an imaginary friend."  
  
Zim looked at Mur. She was seething. "That bratty little..." she muttered.  
  
"Stop acting stupid, Dib." Zim grabbed Mur's hand and waved it in Dib's face. "I know you can see her."  
  
"Ha ha. Yeah right, Zim."  
  
Now Zim was confused. "You can't see her? Really?" Dib shook his head.  
  
"He must not be able to comprehend my beauty," Mur said coolly, trying not to appear as angry as she had earlier. Zim snickered at her comment.  
  
Dib started to look nervous now. "Okay, Zim. Laughing at nothing is just creepy. You can stop. I get the picture, you want to creep me out. I'm leaving." Dib turned to go out the door.  
  
"Wait!" Zim said. He jumped up off the couch and grabbed Dib's trench coat. "You really can't see her?"  
  
Dib didn't turn around. "N-no. Just leave me alone. You're really starting to freak me out." He tried to shake Zim's hand off, but the alien only held on tighter. "Zim! Let go!"  
  
Zim yanked Dib around so he could see the human's face. "Not until we get this whole mess straightened out," he hissed.  
  
"Gir," Zim said. He could count on the robot, right? "Is there anyone in this room besides Dib and me?"  
  
"Mmyep," Gir said. Zim started to relax. "There's me! There's you and me and Dib!"  
  
Zim tensed up again. "Anyone else, Gir?"  
  
Mur rolled her eyes. "I think he needs a little help." She waved her hand in front of Gir's face. "Hello Gir!"  
  
Gir shook his head. "Nope. Just us three." Mur slowly stopped waving. "I guess he's just being his stupid self, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Zim said uneasily. "That must be it."  
  
Dib shook off Zim's grip and grabbed the alien's shoulders. "Look, Zim, something's not right with you," Dib said in a low, quivering voice. "We need to get you help. You're coming with me." He clenched Zim's wrist and pulled him. "You're coming to my house! Gaz knows more about insanity and stuff than I do!"  
  
"Insanity?!" Zim said loudly. "What are you talking about? YOU'RE the crazy one!"  
  
"Shut up, Zim! You're confused!" Dib started running with Zim out of the base and down the street.  
  
"Dib, wait! I don't have my disguise on!"  
  
***  
  
Dib shoved Zim onto his bed, then sat on his stomach so he couldn't get away. "Okay, alien, talk. Who's Mur?"  
  
Zim remained silent. He started struggling against Dib's weight to get away.  
  
"I see some persuasion is in order," Dib said. He licked his hand and pressed it against Zim's face. The Irken groaned in pain as the acid started working into his skin.  
  
Gaz glanced into the room at the sound, and her eyes popped open. She saw her brother on top of Zim on a bed, holding his face. "I'll, um, just leave you two alone..." she stuttered, looking out the window and blushing.  
  
"What's with you?" Dib said, then a realization dawned on him. He blushed too. "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! I'm interrogating Zim!"  
  
Zim whacked Dib's hand. "Your stupid saliva on my face..." he muttered.  
  
Gaz raised an eyebrow. "I rest my case," she said.  
  
"NO! We're not doing anything!" Dib insisted.  
  
"Yes we are," Zim said. Dib blushed mightily.  
  
"That's now what I meant, Zim. Do you aliens know anything about 'the birds and the bees'?" Dib said.  
  
"What do your stupid animals have to do with anything? I thought you were trying to prove to me that Mur isn't real. Which is a LIE!"  
  
"See?" Dib said smugly.  
  
"Okay, so what IS going on?" Gaz asked, crossing her arms.  
  
"Zim's talking to himself!" Dib said. "He thinks there's some person named Mur and--" A realization hit Dib. "Wait... is Mur the person you were talking about when you thought it was Friday? And it was actually Thursday?"  
  
Zim glanced away. "Yes... I can't help it if you're all crazy!"  
  
"Usually, the simplest explanation is the correct one," Gaz said. "Do you think it's more likely that the whole world went crazy and forgot Thursday, and now no one can see Mur? Or, you imagined the Thursday and you're imagining Mur?"  
  
Zim glared at Gaz. "You aren't a part of this conversation. You don't know what's going on."  
  
"Yes I do," Gaz said. "I was in the cafeteria the day Dib saw you talking to yourself. He pointed it out to me before he yelled to the rest of the cafeteria, so I saw you talking to an empty seat."  
  
"It... wasn't... EMPTY!" Zim insisted, and then started muttering. "I don't know why you humans think it is. Stupid, blind species, don't even know what day it is, Mur was right, I am destined to rule Earth..." Zim trailed off as he noticed Gaz was staring expectantly.  
  
"Well?" Gaz prodded. "Say it!"  
  
"Say what?" Zim asked.  
  
"'My preciousssss,'" Gaz hissed, then went back to her normal voice. "It's obvious you were building up to that."  
  
Dib rolled his eyes, and then looked at Zim again. "Okay, again. Who's Mur?"  
  
Zim could tell he wasn't going anywhere until he spilled. "She's a friend I've had for a long time."  
  
Gaz walked closer. "Your species, human, or neither?"  
  
"Human."  
  
"Why does that matter?" Dib asked.  
  
Gaz ignored him. "Did you know her before you got to Earth?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then how could you have imagined a human?"  
  
Dib's eyebrows shot up. "Yeah..."  
  
"I didn't IMAGINE her!" Zim repeated, still angry, but finally the stress made him crack. His narrowed eyes opened into a pleading look. "Please... believe me. Mur... she's real. I've known her over half of my life."  
  
Gaz was merciless. "I'll be the judge of that. Just answer the questions. Where did you meet her?"  
  
"I don't remember."  
  
"When?"  
  
"That, either."  
  
"If she's your friend, why doesn't she tell you?"  
  
"She just brushes my question off. It's not really an important one, anyway..."  
  
"How did you talk to her? Did other Irkens see her?"  
  
"No, I talked to her in..." Zim realized how stupid this would sound. No, not stupid. Crazy. "I talked to her in my sleep." Zim's eyelids drooped in defeat. "Maybe... just maybe you're right..."  
  
"Like heck they are!"  
  
Zim looked up. Mur was sitting at the very end of Dib's bed, arms crossed. "You're not crazy, THEY are! Other kids at school say Dib's crazy, and they're probably absolutely right! His sister's no better."  
  
"Yeah..." Zim said. "They're the crazy ones..."  
  
"Zim?" Dib said nervously. "You're talking to yourself again."  
  
"No I'm not!" Zim said confidently. Here was Mur, sitting right where Zim could see her. Evidence that he was sane. "You two are the crazy ones. I'm just fine."  
  
"You're crazy!" Gaz shouted. "I've reached my verdict. Crazy, insane, wacko, loopy, off yer rocker. You need help, Zim! Case closed, this court is adjourned, next trial, please!"  
  
Zim withered under Gaz's words. "N-no, I can see Mur..."  
  
"Yes you can! And that's all that matters!" Mur yelled. "You're sane! SANE! Just convince these imbeciles, and everything'll be fine, right? TELL THEM! Tell these meat-bags the ZIM way!"  
  
Zim shook his head. Gaz had started talking again while Mur was still going, and now they were both blurring each other out with their yells. His head was starting to pound  
  
"SHUT UUUUUP!!!!" Zim screamed, grabbing his antenna. Mur and Gaz closed their mouths, the latter's eyes widening as she took a step back. Mur seemed proud.  
  
Zim shoved Dib off, and stood on top of the bed. "I can't think straight with the two of you yelling! How can either of you convince me of ANYTHING when you're having a shrieking contest?!"  
  
"But Gaz was the only one--" Zim swung his leg up and kicked Dib hard in the jaw. "YOU SHUT UP TOO!"  
  
Zim turned to Mur, who was still grinning. "You! Mur-stink! Wipe that smirk off of your face!" She only grinned wider.  
  
"Sorry, Zimmy, but I just like seeing you acting strong for once. And I didn't even have to help you along!"  
  
Zim growled. "Never... call... me... ZIMMY!" He lunged at Mur, but fell...  
  
right...  
  
through...  
  
her.  
  
He landed on the floor head first, sliding into the wall. Stunned, he slowly looked up at a poster that said, "Map of the Human Mug." He sat up and laboriously turned to look at the end of Dib's bed. Mur wasn't there.  
  
"There... there was never anyone at the end of the bed, was there?" Dib and Gaz shook their heads.  
  
Zim stood up shakily. He tried to form a rational. What had happened, here? It was hard... Mur always explained the things in his life he couldn't understand.  
  
A soothing voice whispered from the back of his mind, telling him the best excuse it had. Zim believed it. "I-I guess Mur just isn't a normal human, h- huh?"  
  
He fainted.  
  
***  
  
After all that, Zim STILL doesn't believe he's crazy! Well, he isn't exactly known for his ability to listen to other people, is he?  
  
We are quickly approaching uncharted territory. Up to this point, I've been following a vague plot guide I wrote several months ago, that tell the basic events and divide the chapters. I wrote about half of the plot guide, because I didn't know where the story was going. Well, now I DO know where the story is going, but I don't have a plot guide for it, so it isn't very specific. Stinks, neh? I've got one more chapter before I run out of plot guide. After that... Welcome to the Louisiana Purchase, good luck making your own map!  
  
So, I'll update soon. Kindly review, and if you feel lazy, feel free to use the cheat sheet in chapter 4.  
  
~ckret2 


	7. Twitch Twitch Twitch twitch twitch twitc...

I'm typing this... ON MY BRAND-NEW COMPUTER! WH00T! Okay, so it's not brand- new, it's about five years old and I only got it because I've been making good grades all year and got a 1300 on the SAT, I've been begging for one for two years, and we got a new one and didn't know what to do with the old one, but hey! "Take what you can, and give nothing back." Anyhowzit, welcome to chapter 7!!  
  
Vortianized: Haven't seen The Secret Window (yet), but thanks for the comparison anyway! I shall continue before you snap. So there.  
  
KitKat the great: Yeah, still in denial, isn't he?  
  
Invader Alex: SURE, let's be friends! Yeah, Dib is nice to help Zim and all, but I think he's more doing this to clear up things for himself. He's freaked out and all. Let's face it: Zim's utterly terrifying him. Mur is mean, but it's not like he can help it. She's not real. She's actually just performing the duties of Quifosenkis and making sure his personality changes correctly so he's the NEW Zim instead of the OLD Zim... it'll be a lot clearer after this chapter.  
  
Dragon Of The Rose: Sorry I couldn't give you that chapter... Writers, they live spontaneous lives, inspiration hear, writer's block there, and somewhere in it all we have to work in fanfics.  
  
Eks: "It rocks like a thing that rocks almightily." I'll remember that phrase. Thanks! And, if you think "holy fandango" is funny, which it is, then you should try "holy frijoles" next time. I luv that phrase...  
  
Keeper of Memory Pepperochu: Okay, okay, next time I get a game I'll get VII. They all sound neat, so whichever is fine.  
  
Ashsema: Well, of course the water didn't REALLY cause the "warp." It's just the only excuse Zim can think up. Erm, maybe I didn't make it clear, but Zim's "good friend" is the imaginary Mur. See, she keeps telling him he's so amazing and a great Invader, and even if she does yell sometimes she makes sure he stays in-character and doesn't start questioning his loyalties or the mission or anything. Guess I didn't write that well enough? Of course, she isn't really a friend. She isn't really an ANYTHING. But she works that way for Zim. Yeah, some stories DO write themselves, don't they? And thanks for the compliment. The one thing a writer likes to hear more than a compliment to their stories is a compliment to their abilities as a writer. Thankee!  
  
Pirate Monkey: I hate being banned from the Net. Which is why I haven't updated Crossover in weeks, even though I have the next chapter. I was banned. gasp Thanks for the review.  
  
Silent Knight I: I think you can let Zim out now. Glad you like Mur, she keeps him from completely snapping. Trust me, without her, Quifosenkis would've made Zim go mad years ago. And not the mad he is now. The padded- room mad.  
  
Dragon of the Rose (again): You live near Muir Woods? I was wondering how long it'd take someone to make a connection. I went to California two summers ago on vacation, and visited the Muir Woods. That was also the vacation I discovered Zim, watching Nickelodeon in a hotel room. Well, several months later I was coming up with the original Quifosenkis, which at the time was called The Truth and had no diseases involved. Quifosenkis was the title of a completely different story with a very different disease. I was trying to come up with a name for a character. I wanted to make some human girl Zim communicated with telepathically years before he reached Earth (yes, I made a stinkin' Mary Sue. I was a n00bie, okay?!). I wanted a three-letter name, since all the main characters have three-letter names, and I saw my souvenir coin from Muir Woods. So, I cut out the "I" and named my character Mur. Of course, several months later I realized "The Truth" was pitiful and "Quifosenkis" lacked drama, so I combined the two stories. Instead of a psychic girl talking to Zim in one fic and a mental disease making Zim stupid in the other, I combined them into a mental disease with a side-effect of a not-real girl talking to Zim's mind while he's going crazy and becoming stupid. Long explanation for a short comment, neh?  
  
Heh Choke On This Puppy: Gad, I know your pain. I know what it's like to wait and wait and wait and maybe she'll never update? Then wait and wait and wait until you've just about given up hope, or maybe you already have, and she UPDATES! whoot But, I swear upon my extensive collection of Zim merchandise, that this fic will eventually be finished. I won't let this die, I won't forget it, I will get the whole story out to you all, or may my merchandise turn into tuna salad.  
  
CDingo: Gee, thanks! You squinted your eyes for me! yee! I'm glad you think I've mixed the IZ world and normal sci-fi well. I spend a lot of time getting the whole Quifosenkis stuff to work in the IZ world smoothly.  
  
We'll be on Irk most of the chapter, but we'll still get to see Zim and how his disease is going. And, an important discovery is made. Don't worry, Dibby-lovers, he's not about to disappear from this fic! I was planning on making Dib disappear into the depths of the Unused Characters Dimension (from your friendly builders of the Twilight Zone and the Room With a Moose!!), but he'll be back later. He won't be a star character (hardly even a co-star), but he WILL INDEED BE THERE! Do not fear!  
  
Note: Quifosenkis cannot think. Quifosenkis cannot talk. Quifosenkis has no physical identity. It is a disease. Can hysteria think? Can schizophrenia think? No. Quifosenkis can't either. Just thought I'd clear that up before the chapter. Remember that.  
  
Now (despite the fact that I'm SUPPOSED to be working on Sanctified By Oppression), fic time! I had writer's block on SBO, anyway...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zim, Red, Purple, Gir, Irk, the Irkens themselves, and all the other little things I don't own but wish I did. I do own Mur, Kayna, Nakay, Quifosenkis the story, and Quifosenkis the disease, compares the lists and sighs Nickelodeon: 7. Ckret2: 4.5. Big corporations beat the individual yet again. Way to go, Bush. Oh, and I don't own the name Doctor Scratchandsniff. That is stolen from Animaniacs, but it's such a cool name...  
  
Twitch Twitch Twitch twitch twitch twitch...  
  
Red and Nakay were on Conventia briefly. Red and Purple were there to give a speech to smeets who were going to be Invaders, and Nakay was going to give a series of lectures to Nurses and Scientists about Quifosenkis. She'd be staying there for a couple of months, but after Red and Purple gave their speeches they'd leave Conventia to go to a recently conquered planet. This would be the last time Red saw Nakay in awhile, so they were at one of the smaller food courts on the planet drinking smoothies and talking.  
  
"I know Quifosenkis kills people," Red says, "but what does it do before that? I mean, you don't just die, do you?"  
  
"No," Nakay said. "There's a period of degrade before they die. And it takes a long time to kill. Years, in fact. You start off by slowly losing intelligence and sanity as your brain tries to wipe over the personality programming in your ID pak. It's more visible in gradual Quifosenkis, because the only thing your brain is doing is wiping over personality. It takes longer to show in sudden, because half of your brain's efforts are dedicated to wiping over memories, not reprogram personality. Irkens with sudden Quifosenkis suffer amnesia, sometimes, but they don't just forget everything. When they're closer to dying, the process speeds up, and not only do they get dumber and crazier but they also start to lose physical energy, too, as the personality wipe slowly spreads to motor functions. The Irken dies either when his brain gives out from the reprogramming, all motor functions are wiped, or the ID pak's start-up disk is wiped. These usually happen at about the same time, but only one needs to happen to kill of the Irken."  
  
Red nodded. "So, they start getting stupid and crazy?"  
  
Nakay nodded. "Yeah. And, of course, they get weaker at the end. But unless they're already receiving mental therapy, by that time they're doomed. Almost no one can overcome Quifosenkis with that much time on their clocks."  
  
A little virus was moving through Zim's systems. It was a computer virus, and a mental virus at the same time.  
  
This little virus was called Quifosenkis.  
  
Now, this virus can't really think or talk, but to help the audience understand exactly what's going on in Zim's brain and ID pak right now, we'll pretend it is a physical sentient thing, and it can think and talk.  
  
Quifosenkis, with Zim's supposed personality of cockiness and confidence and bravery and loyalty to the Tallest stored in its metaphorical mind, swam back and forth from Zim's brain to his pak, making all the necessary adjustments to make sure Zim was being run by its rules.  
  
Quifosenkis was currently in his pak, going through his memories. "Hmm, memories of the Cold Unfeeling Robot Arm?" Quifosenkis muttered. "Zim wasn't supposed to hug it! He's tough and brave, not sentimental." As Quifosenkis moved towards the memory to replace it, it had a change of heart. Zim was a smeet them. Smeets could be sentimental. Instead, Quifosenkis changed Zim's memory of the Download Chamber so he would look like the smart Irken Quifosenkis thought he should be. Satisfied, Quifosenkis moved on, as the change was added and spreading through Zim's ID pak and making a bunch of other minor adjustments.  
  
"Zim's been getting too many conflicting memories lately," Quifosenkis said, changing Zim's memory of the Tak incident so Zim would think he'd had Dib and Gaz hypnotized, instead of worked alongside them. "And I can't change all his memories. It'd take too much time to come up with new ones, and during that time Zim will have even MORE experiences I'll need to change. I need something quicker."  
  
Quifosenkis passed Zim's memory of the night before and groaned out loud. That was a complete disaster! Mur's existence was being called into question, and Zim had been completely at the mercy of Dib! Now, not only was Zim wondering if something was wrong with himself – heaven forbid! – he had also acted weak, compromising, resigned, and all-around pitiful. And Quifosenkis couldn't let Zim question Mur's existence. Thanks to Quifosenkis, she was the most real thing Zim had. All the other memories? Easily changed material. They were as insubstantial as Zim's old personality. Mur was Zim's present and future life. Quifosenkis had to make sure Zim remembered that.  
  
But how was it going to clear up THIS mess? This huge jumble of stuff Zim couldn't think! There was no way to slightly change the reality to fit with what Quifosenkis wanted. The memory was incorrigible.  
  
"Hey..." Quifosenkis said quietly. "When you're building something and you mess up badly, what do you do? Throw it away!" Quifosenkis laughed triumphantly, deleting the old memory entirely. Memories from around crowded in to fill the blank space, and in a nanosecond it was like the memory had never been there. Laughing triumphantly again, Quifosenkis zoomed around Zim's brain with increased speed, finding files unworthy of keeping and deleting them. The second Thursday the eighth? Delete! That whole conversation with Purple was relating to Thursday the eighth. Delete! Every time Dib had talked about Mur? Delete! Delete! Delete!  
  
Quifosenkis laughed again. "This is easy! Why didn't I think of this before?" But in the rush of filling in the empty space, important memories were getting knocked out and valuable programming was getting written over. Zim's biological brain was tiring from the new info it was getting. And thus, Zim started dying.  
  
Red and Purple were in their private lounge playing a video game, "¡mEEkrOb.splAt!"  
  
"Is it just me, or is everything spelled weird these days?" Red commented. "I mean, bItter hOpe had the second letters caped, and this game has the punctuation and random caps."  
  
"They're not random, only the vowels are capped," Purple said. He had, after all, spent two weeks tracking down the creator so he could throttle him for making another game he lost at. He also learned the name of the color of the paint the m, second E, and t were in: not green, or even neon green, but Ectoplasmic Moss Green #9887. "We should consider ourselves lucky we aren't named Glossy Candy Apple Reddish-Maroon and Glittery Deep Mist Purple Mountain Majesty instead of Red and Purple."  
  
Red glanced over at Purple. "Since when did you know that much about colors?"  
  
"Oh, you don't know the half of it." Purple had learned those colors from previous creator-throttling expeditions. The colors were easier to find than the creators themselves. Go fig.  
  
"Wait a sec," Red said, pausing. "Are you calling me 'Candy Apple'?!"  
  
Purple gulped, but took the challenge. "What if I am?"  
  
Red's eyes narrowed and he moved forward threateningly. "We'll see about that." Smiling cruelly, he unpaused, and savage Meekrobians swarmed on Purple's player.  
  
"Hey!" Purple said. Furiously pounding the buttons, he knocked the Meekrobians back. Screeching in terror, the pixilated opponents ran to the other side of the battle arena, where they attacked and killed Red.  
  
Red's eyes widened. "What the—?!"  
  
"I just beat them..." Purple whispered. Cheering, he charged the remaining Meekrobians. "Take that, energy creatures! And take that, Mr. Candy Apple." Red grumbled.  
  
Suddenly, the screen went blank, and "Incoming Message" flashed across it. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" Purple wailed. Ignoring him, Red answered the message.  
  
"What do you want, Zim?"  
  
"It's ZIM?!" Purple cried. "Zim made me stop my glorious massacre? And I was just starting to like him better because of that time warp thing!"  
  
"Is this a bad time, my Tallests?" Zim asked uncertainly.  
  
"No, not at all!" Red exclaimed, actually glad to see Zim. He'd set up a tape to record all incoming messages, so that when he got one from Zim he'd be able to show it to Nakay and let her psychoanalyze him. "So, what are you calling about, Zim?"  
  
"Just reporting in, Sirs. Err, Sir, I guess. Where's Tallest Red? He was just there."  
  
Red's eyes narrowed. "I'M Red. HE'S Purple. My name's Red and I have red eyes. HIS name is Purple and he has Purple eyes. It's... that... simple."  
  
"Oh, right, sorry my Tallest. If I may ask, where's Tallest Purple?"  
  
"Banging his head against something." Red glanced to the other side of the lounge. "Looks like the Plexiglas window. Hey, wait, don't DO that! You'll BREAK it!"  
  
"Fine!" Purple huffed, floating up beside Red. "Hey, Zim, how's that time warp project going?"  
  
Zim's brow furrowed. "What time warp project?"  
  
"You know, the repeated day? After the rain?"  
  
Zim looked increasingly perplexed. "I don't know about any repeated days..."  
  
"Aw, c'mon! It was only a few days ago."  
  
Zim blinked. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Suddenly his attitude shifted. "YOU'RE CRAZY! You're all talking... CRAZY talk! Yep. I know NOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING about a repeating day. OKAY?!"  
  
Purple's eyes narrowed. "Don't talk to me like that. I 0wnz0rz j00r b0x0rz."  
  
Red glanced at Purple. "'I ownzorz joor boxors'??"  
  
"It's 1337!" Purple defended.  
  
Red looked again at Zim, who was only half on the screen. He was arguing with someone off-camera. There was something weird about this... Zim's sudden mood shift...  
  
"Hey, Zim, who're you talking to?" Red asked.  
  
"Eh? I'M NOT CRAZY! SHE'S THERE!!"  
  
Red arched a non-existent eyebrow. "I... didn't say you were. Whoever you're talking to is off-screen. Who is she?"  
  
"Oh," Zim said. "It's Mur. Hey wait... she's not off-screen!"  
  
"Yes she is," Purple said.  
  
"Oh really?" Zim said. He glanced to his side a second, then did that mood- swing. "YOU LIIIIIIIIE!"  
  
"Okay, fine Zim," Red said soothingly. "We'll just call you back later."  
  
"Right," Zim said. He sat there a few seconds. "Does that mean I hang up?"  
  
"Yes," Red and Purple said simultaneously.  
  
"Okay." Mood-swing. "I will call back AS SOON as I make more progress, SIRS!" He hung up.  
  
"Jeez," Purple said, rolling his optikos at the ceiling. "Has Zim always been that stupid?"  
  
"I don't think he has..." Red said thoughtfully. He turned off the game.  
  
"What was THAT for?!" Purple whined.  
  
"Shut yer hole," Red commanded, logging on to the files of every Irken in existence. "Lessee... M through Z... Maalox? No... scroll down... Vexorz is still too high... Zillah closer, Ziltax, Zimrekay? Who's Zimrekay? Erm... goes to Zinry after that... Who's Zimrekay?  
  
Red clicked on the link, and a picture of Zim popped up. "Zim's whole name is Zimrekay?"  
  
"No kiddin'?" Purple said, sitting behind Red.  
  
Red scrolled down. "Ah! Annual Manditory Invader IQ Tests!"  
  
"What's that?" Purple asked.  
  
"Every year, every Invader or Invader-in-training has to take an IQ test to make sure they meet minimum requirements. I want to see Zim's," Red explained. He clicked on the link, and his jaw dropped.  
  
"What? What is it?" Purple asked.  
  
"Three hundred years ago, Zim's IQ was two hundred fifty-eight..." Red whispered, awed. This was Zim??  
  
"I dunno," Purple said dubiously, but he was obviously stunned. "I heard he cheats on all his tests."  
  
"The IQ tests take info directly from your ID pak. You can't cheat on it."  
  
Red scrolled down slowly. 258, 258, 259, 259, 259, 259, 258, 259, 259, 259, 259, 259, 260... On and on, gradually going up until...  
  
"Zim's score dropped to 210 two hundred years ago!" Red exclaimed. He read on. After that, every few years Zim's IQ dropped another few points, irregularly. It wasn't even possible. He was down to 105 when....  
  
"Where's the rest of the list? This stops a long time ago!" Purple griped.  
  
"After that it has a long list of... excuses," Red said. "Every year since then he's come up with a way to get out of the tests." That was fifty years ago. Fifty years ago, Zim's IQ had been 105 and it was dropping rapidly.  
  
Red turned around slightly so he could see Purple. "Did you either hear or see this Mur?"  
  
"No..." Purple said. "I didn't. She was off-screen, right?"  
  
"But Zim was arguing with her. And he said she was on-screen."  
  
"Hmm," Purple replied. "What's the name of his crazy robot thing? Maybe that's Mur?"  
  
"I don't think its name is Mur. And if it was that robot, we would have heard it. It's noisy. All I heard was Zim."  
  
Red closed Zim's file. He had a hunch. All he needed was that disk, the recording of the meeting...  
  
Red ejected the disk, and called another branch of the Massive. In a few seconds, a face popped up.  
  
"May I be of service, my Tallest?" the saluting Irken said, wearing the crisp uniform of the Irken Doctors and Nurses.  
  
"Yes, I'd like you to run a test on the Irken taped in this disk. Invader... Zimrekay." Behind Red, Purple choked down a laugh. "I want you to see if his optikos bi are vibrating."  
  
The Doctor's antenna perked up. "You... are familiar with the way to identify sudden Quifosenkis, Tallest Purple?"  
  
"Tallest Red has red eyes, Tallest Purple has purple eyes," Red droned. He was used to this by now. "And yes, I am. I think this guy might have it."  
  
"Of course, we'll check, my Tallest. But there's a very slight chance... is this Irken male?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Does he have red or green eyes?"  
  
"Red eyes."  
  
"Is he less than five hundred years old?"  
  
Red faltered. He turned to Purple. "How old is Zim?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno..." Purple said. "'Bout three hundred? Three-fifty max."  
  
Red turned back to the Doctor. "Yes. He is."  
  
"Have his optikos ever reached maximum heat or cold?"  
  
Again, Red turned to Purple. "Has he?"  
  
"Didn't he tell us about Earth's sun being booby-trapped?" Purple asked. "He said something about the flesh burning off his eyes."  
  
"Oh yeah." Red giggled. "Stupid, that happens on Irk, too! Yeah, I'd say he's reached maximum heat."  
  
"All right. Send us the disk, and we'll get right on it."  
  
"Fine." Red teleported the disk to the Doctor.  
  
"Thank you, my Tallest. We'll have the results in an hour."  
  
Zim had just made it to Mrs. Bitter's class and sat down in his desk. He yawned. He didn't know why, but he was exhausted. He'd stayed up all night... was that it?  
  
"Hey," Mur said, floating down beside Zim. "Whatcha doin'?"  
  
"Sitting," Zim replied crankily. He really was tired. "Say, Mur, I forgot. Do Irkens sleep?"  
  
Mur looked at Zim, eyebrows raised. "Well, duh!"  
  
"They do?"  
  
"Yeah!" Mur rolled here eyes. "Don't you remember the time you called the Tallest and they were asleep?"  
  
"Lemme think..." Zim said.  
  
Quifosenkis quickly got to work. Mur was the most real thing to Zim. She never spoke lies. Her reality was the correct one, Quifosenkis made sure of that. It fabricated a scene for Zim's memories.  
  
"Yeah, I do," Zim said.  
  
Quifosenkis looked around Zim's ID pak, and quickly flew back to Zim's brain. They were getting sluggish from all the stuff Quifosenkis put them through. They needed to be off for Quifosenkis to get any good work done.  
  
Quifosenkis separated some neurons in Zim's brain from each other, flew back to his ID pak, and flipped the sleep switch in the start-up disk.  
  
"You know, you look really tired," Mur commented. "And school isn't really that important to an Invader like you."  
  
"I guess you're right..." Zim yawned, and fell fast asleep.  
  
There was a knock on the lounge's door. Red and Purple were still hanging out there. The Massive was, currently, on autopilot.  
  
"Who dare enter the lair of PURPLE?!" the aforementioned Tallest screamed at the door.  
  
"... Doctor Scratchandsniff?"  
  
"Ignore Purple. He got good at one game and went crazy." Red opened the door, letting the Doctor in.  
  
"Thank you, my Tallest," Scratchandsniff said, stepping in. "We have the results on Invader Zimrekay. Would you like the synopsis or the complex stuff?"  
  
"Complex stuff," Red decided, hoping he'd learned enough from Nakay to understand it.  
  
"All right." Scratchandsniff popped the disk into the nearby terminal, and clicked play. "Okay, this is how it normally looks." He slowed the disk down to shot-by-shot slo-mo. "You can't really tell here..." he fast forwarded to where Zim had started arguing with Mur. "But here you can really see the optikos bi vibrate." Sure enough, when the Doc slowed the disk down again, the bi were vibrating. And they weren't just going up and down like Red though they would. They were kind of swimming around in crazy patterns, not very much at all, but enough to unnerve you.  
  
Red shivered. "Zim really has Quifosenkis? Whoa. So that's why he's so weird."  
  
"Isn't that the thing Kayna had?" Purple asked. Red glared at him, baring his teeth. He didn't want to hear about it. He might start feeling sorry for Zim, and try to save him, and... he didn't really care about Zim, and he didn't want to.  
  
"He's obviously talking so someone, but no one's there," the Doctor continued. "See the direction Zim's shadow is falling? If there was someone where Zim is looking, its shadow would fall on part of Zim's face. But it isn't. And right before he has those mood swings, he antenna perk up a little and he glances in that direction. Someone over there, who isn't really there, is telling him how to act and he's obeying them."  
  
"That's ironic, if you think about it," Purple said. "Zim has dedicated his life to getting others to bow down to him and tend to his every desire, but in reality the only one he can control is himself and he doesn't even know he's doing it."  
  
Red blinked. "I didn't know you were poetic."  
  
"That ain't poetry, that be the facts, fo' shizzle!" Purple said, doing a weird sign with his hands.  
  
"More 1337?" Red asked.  
  
"You're kidding, right?"  
  
Red shook his head. "So, what do we do about Zim?"  
  
"Erm, if I may..." The Doctor started.  
  
"Nothing!" Purple said. "Duh!"  
  
"There's something you should know..."  
  
"Right," Red said, grinning. "How stupid of me. Why would I want to waste MY time helping the likes of Zim? Please!"  
  
"My Tallest?"  
  
"Why would I care about Zim anyway? I have no connection to him at all!" Red declared. "Besides the fact he keeps calling us, that is."  
  
"Yeah," Purple said. "And when he dies, the missing calls will be a welcome relief." The co-rulers high-fived.  
  
"Tallest Red?" Scratchandsniff said.  
  
Red spun to face him, grinning enthusiastically. "You remembered my name!"  
  
"Yes, well," Scratchandsniff said dismissively. "Before you make a final judgment on what to do with Zim, you may want to see this first.  
  
The Doctor rewound the tape a little. He hit play, and Zim started talking on screen. "What time warp proj–" He paused the tape. The light was shining on Zim's eyes, so the lights in Zim's base brilliantly illuminated his post oculus.  
  
"Wow," Red breathed. Zim's eyes were criss-crossed a thousand times over with glowing pinkish-gold wires. Red had only seen an Irken's eyes like this once, in a picture by a famous photographer. It was nigh on impossible for the light to catch an Irken's eyes so they glowed like that.  
  
"Now, we got this rare little footage of Zim's eyes, and did a scan of the prints and compared it to all the ones we had in our database," Doctor Scratchandsniff said, "and we found a near match."  
  
Scratchandsniff opened the medical files through Red's computer, pulled up an ink prink of two eyes, and super-imposed it over Zim's. They were almost a perfect match. "As you can see, the owner of these prints is one of Zim's parents. It's too close a match to be anything else. And when we checked for the owner of the prints and saw he had red eyes..."  
  
Red's stomach dropped. "Oh, no. You're joking. You've got to be." The Doctor slowly shook his head.  
  
Almighty Tallest Red, one of the two tallest Irkens in existence, lord over the Irken Empire, and deemed as one of the best Tallests of all time, was the father of Invader Zimrekay, shortest Irken in the history of the species, laughing stock of the entire Empire, and the most insane, self- centered, moronic Invader to ever graduate from Devastus. And, thanks to his promise to Kayna to protect their children, he had to help Zim.  
  
The tabloids would be aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall over this.  
  
Heh. Who say that one coming? that's a cue for you all to raise your hands. And did anyone notice anything interesting about Zim's full name? ZimRE-(D)-KAY-(NA). Yes, I did that on purpose.  
  
So, hope you like. Henceforth, we shall be treading unexplored territory in Quifosenkis. Even I'm not 100% sure what's gonna happen now. I do know this much: Red's not just going to let Zim die, and Zim's sister will become VERY important VERY soon. Expect more Zim, Gir, Mur, and maybe Dib in the next chapter. 


End file.
